Serves Me Right (or Wrong)

This is what you get when you’re a lousy ho-hum gardener but finally succumb to the pressure of your front lawn shining like a yellow beacon (dandelions) amidst the lush green lawns of ALL your neighbours’ and so you grab an inappropriate tool from the garage and attack those suckers with a vengeance – plunge, scoop, fling – and the adrenalin kicks in ‘cause you’re so pissed off when you realize that for every bloody hell perky yellow flower there are five other dandelion patches surrounding it (this will take forever!!) and so you pick up the pace - heave-ho, heave-ho - until you suddenly notice there is blood dripping down your wrist…and so you pause…and you stop…

…to observe this dripping blood with wonder and awe – amazed that not only were you oblivious to the creation of a blister, you didn’t even know it had broken AND that the blood has also seeped into the wooden handle of that wacko tool…

Calmly – oh so calmly - you rise with aching knees and sore back, collect the dandelion kill, dump it by the garage, go into the house, wash the blood and gore from the palm of your hand (cringing at the flap of skin) and shed some tears because the adrenalin rush has ceased and, yes, it hurts like hell and because you are still frustrated and mad – both at the dandelions and at yourself for having tackled the job in such a WRONG idiotic way and so have no one to blame but yourself and, yes, that hurts, too…

And the job is not complete.


p.s. the above photo is not one of my blister – mine is an open wound - yuck



photo credit: www.thealmightyguru.com

Love and Laughter

And a good time was had by all the inmates…

Yet another birthday celebration where we play our favourite party game – “Who Can Look the Goofiest?”

My eldest won – yet again. This is one game I don’t mind losing.

Care to join us at the next birthday celebration? It will be mine! The only gift required is one of laughter. A touch of insanity is also appreciated.

You know what I find so wonderful about my kids? (Among many other things…) They’ve grown up to be friends as well as brothers. Sweet.

The Birthday Boys
(their lazy mother now does a combined party for their April birthdays)
Happy Birthday T & S!

In the Words Of...

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

~Christopher Robin to Winnie The Pooh


I recently had a heart-to-heart with a friend who said to me, “You’re a smart woman - don’t ever forget how strong you can be.”

Being the sort of person who travels through life with an abundance of literary quotations in her head, I replied, “Hey, that reminds of what Christopher Robin told Winnie The Pooh!”

My words were met with a blank stare followed by a look of dismay. I suspect he was re-thinking that “smart woman” remark.

I explained my quantum leap of thought – the similarity of the advice.

He still looked a bit perplexed.

Hey, what man wouldn’t want to aspire to the wisdom and eloquence of Christopher Robin? Or for that matter, the wisdom of Winnie The Pooh? Or any inhabitant of the Hundred Acre Wood (aka 100 Aker Wood)?

I would take such a comparison as a compliment. ;)


P.S. We’re still friends – he just knows me a little better now – is more prepared for those quantum leaps…



photo credit: www.msu.edu/user/steinbr1/pooh/images/classic/pooh78.jpg

Weekend Summary

Wine, women and song.

The song portion courtesy of three iPods and singing our little hearts out. LOUDLY.

Lots of good food but those calories were burned off with laughter – the belly-ache kind.

Sitting on Muskoka chairs on the cottage deck in t-shirts with our pant legs rolled up basking in the hot sun.

The next day – snow. Bizarre.


Sightings/Non-Sightings

- one duck
- heard one loon (I love loons)
- some creature in the woods too far away to identify (I’m okay with this)
- no bugs (too early)
- no mice (my fall battle prep was a success!)
- no bears (very much okay with this)
- one loud noise outside my window which woke me in the middle of the night with heart pounding. I do believe it was a pine cone falling on the deck. (hey, it is very quiet up there – sounds are magnified - it makes perfect sense to think a wild animal might have been strolling on the deck)

A good time was had by all.

I want to go back. Today.

Escape

I’m off to the cottage – so looking forward to this mini-vacation.

I have no Internet connection there now. Nada, nil. Not even the old dial-up-from-hell one. This cyberspace disconnect will be good for my brain – not to mention my a**.

And, heck, there are other addictions to indulge.

What?! You thought I was referring to alcohol and other such naughty-natured indulgences?

No, no, no! I mean communing with nature. This too is addicting.

Sitting on the dock and/or deck, breathing in the fresh air, absorbing the sounds of the north – ALL THE WHILE KEEPING A WARY EYE OUT* FOR BEARS!!

We all come out of hibernation eventually, don’t we?

Have a wonderful weekend. I plan to.


*“keeping a wary eye out” – Such a strange expression…makes me think of an eyeball hanging out of its socket. The reality is I’ll be keeping both eyes open and looking over my shoulder. My fear of bears is something I’ll never outgrow. “Outgrow.” Yet another strange expression…

Enough, Beth! Just go!


photo credit: www.twincreeksllamas.com

S.P.E.L.L.I.N.G.

Ha! You have to laugh! Well, you don’t, but I did.

After a lifetime spent correcting the spelling of my given name* - “That’s Elisabeth with an ‘s’…” - I got both the ‘s’ AND the ‘z’ with this bill!

Now the ‘a’ is missing!

What next? No vowels?

“Attention: Lszbth Stewart…”

I have mellowed. If the misspelling makes me laugh, bring it on.



*usually to no avail – I have official documents to prove it

Of Sticks and Stones...

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.”
~Virginia Woolf

“And sometimes, their words the poison we unwittingly swallow.”
~E. Stewart


With barely perceptible movement and actions, I’m dismantling the cage, dismissing the glances and refusing to swallow that which I find unpalatable.

Progress is slow. Sometimes I lose ground.

While change is not always easy at this stage in one’s life, it is possible – and the rewards are worth the struggle.

Hell, I should have done this years ago.

Word to the wise – being nice and accommodating is not all it’s cracked up to be.

To quote Theodore Roosevelt, you can always, "Speak softly and carry a big stick…”

Or in my case, a small to medium sized one. (Old habits die hard.)

Where's the Chocolate?!!

Apparently, a new Easter Bunny took over the route in our neighbourhood this year – and the boys were quite pleased with the change-up.

For the record, this booze-in-a-basket is a first. While I never thought such a thing was possible, by last week we’d OD’d on chocolate from an early Easter basket of goodies I’d received.

What better replacement for chocolate than some Heineken beer?

How times change.

An April Fool

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
~ Groucho Marx

Big smile when I came across this quotation – so on point and timely.

It’s either my age (hormonal imbalance and all that jazz) or the myriad of thoughts swirling about my brain (do this, do that…no, do this first and then do that…) but I’m having trouble making sense of the world these days. In fact, I’m having trouble making any kind of sense - period.

My youngest helps – he very kindly points out my flawed thinking processes and occasionally manages to fill in the blanks for me.

I think a five year old would be even better. A little less judgmental, low on the sarcasm and would provide some much-needed clarity. Children have a knack for seeing the world as it is, for getting priorities straight.

Truly, there are days I think I’m nucking futs.

Maybe it’s just a case of spring fever? The warm weather has finally arrived! Had my hair all chopped off in celebration. I feel like a new woman - still “futs” but with a different look. Wonder what I’ll do next? The possibilities are endless... Skip town? Change my name? A singing career with Oreneta?

I need that five year old.

But just a rental – not to own. I’m not that crazy.



Photo credit: http://www.bestuff.com/stuff/splashing-in-puddles