Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Not feeling particularly witty, amusing, intelligent or whatever it takes to write a decent post today.

We’re taking my mother to the hospital tomorrow to have a procedure done. Each time I’ve spoken to her about this I’ve been so committed to reassuring her that everything will be just fine that I’ve buried my own fear. (Strange how the mind works.) That fear has emerged today. Actually, it emerged last night.

There’s really nothing in the world you can’t cope with, deal with, find the strength to bear – it just seems that way. And that’s why when we say to ourselves, “I can’t do this…” we are simply uttering meaningless words of denial. Because we then go on to do whatever needs doing.

It’s not a choice. It’s not about what we want or wish – for ourselves or for anyone else.

It just is.

15 comments:

Deidra said...

It's amazing, indeed, what we find inside when we dig deep. Prayers that all goes well today!

oreneta said...

Sadly that is true, and most of us do forge on and go ahead and do it. Hang in there. Hope everything goes well.

LipstickOne said...

i think i needed to read this today. thank you.

Aunt Reeny's After Thoughts said...

I hope everything goes well today. Be strong...

Charlotta-love said...

...here's a little prayer for you.

Beth said...

I'll be praying for your mom...and you do make it through...you just do. Even if you don't want to.

VE said...

Isn't everything you do a procedure? Get up...go to the bathroom...eat...rob the convenience store...

Hope all goes well with your mom

BlackenedBoy said...

So true. My own grandmother recently learned that she has a terminal illness, and she's accepted it better than anyone I've ever seen before.

I think she's more adjusted to her death than most of her family.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I hope all goes well. My thoughts and prayers go with you.

JR's Thumbprints said...

I certainly can relate to this. My whole life has been a series of small denials followed by incremental (but certainly not monumental) choices that've moved me along.

Hope all goes well with your mother.

Seraphine said...

i hope everything goes well tomorrow.
wishing you all the best. hugs.

sherry lee said...

Sending you love today. Sometimes tests, doctors, findings are harder on the people who are supporting - in a different way. Strength is there even when we don't see it.

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

And maybe it will be fine. I imagine you are right now in the throes of dealing with the outcome of the procedure. And yes, we get through although sometimes "those times" seem surreal, like you are walking through a part on stage. Impermanence, is all we ever really have.

Cheryl said...

Being there, with love, hope and a heart that will never stop caring,is what it is.
I pray all goes well for your mom, you and your family.

Seraphine said...

we visited a friend in the hospital today. he's been in there for a week. he has penumonia. he's in intensive care. to look at him, you wouldn't recognise him. he has tubes and lines hooked up everywhere. he is swollen like a water balloon; he is retaining water. the nurse said his condition is improving. nevertheless, he will be in the hospital for weeks. i'm very worried for him. and his wife.