Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Behind the Scenes


Many bloggers write about what’s happening in their lives. Those who write about literary, political or humorous events often add something regarding their personal lives.

I can only do this to a certain extent. I’m constrained by a number of factors – my sense of personal privacy, the fact my blog is not anonymous and my preference that it not become a vehicle for venting.

Six months after I began blogging, my life underwent a significant change. I am still dealing with this change on an emotional, physical, intellectual (and legal) level. I rarely discuss this on my blog and when I do, I do so in a rather cryptic manner.

I am doing very well. I surprise myself (and others) with my ability to cope and adapt. But there are days that are not-so-good. I’ve come to recognize what triggers these days - although I’m not yet very good at ignoring those triggers. (Working on that…)

So, behind the scenes in “Book Beth’s” life there is a great deal going on that never sees the light of day on this blog. These other matters can be both time consuming and overwhelming.

When significant change occurs in your life, your response to it has the potential to change you. I know I have changed. But I am determined to keep this blog “mine” – a place where I can be the Beth I know and like rather than this other Beth who has emerged. Don’t get me wrong – this new Beth was born of necessity. I may not like all the traits she possesses but “we” need them right now.

This post is not an apology for my absence of last week or any absences that may be necessary in the months ahead. It is simply an explanation.

You may not be getting “all of me” – but you’re getting what I consider the best of me.

21 comments:

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, in the words of the great late Curt Cobain, "Come as you are."

Beth said...

we happen to like all of the Beth's...best or not. But it's very importnat that tyour blog feed YOU first and foremost, so you do what cha gotta do....

love you

lynn said...

How beautifully put.

MyUtopia said...

Thank you for sharing with us. I hope whatever you are going through that you find your inner strength to help take you through it.

Mrs. G. said...

I have no idea what you're referencing in this post, but, Beth, I will take you any way I can get you. I love your blog! I just hope that you aren't ill and if you are, I hope you are on your way to feeling better.

Sherry said...

I think whatever we get from the Beth who comes here is the best of Beth..be that good, bad or indifferent. Life can be a roller coaster..and we learn to ride with the ups and the downs.

charlotta-love said...

I don't blog the (real) personal bits of my life either. ...only the parts I decide I want to share. We are glad for the bits YOU decide to share with US.

Shari said...

Beth, I like your blog; I never know what to expect. One day it's about a book review, the next it's about some phone call. I am glad to have you blogging whatever you want to blog. You don't have to reveal anything you don't want to.

Love ya.

God bless.

oreneta said...

Like all I've ever seen....do what you need..your blog is, as you said, YOURS. Hang in there, we're all wishing you the best.

Gary said...

All of you is just fine Beth - do what you have to, be who you have to, and share only what you choose to with we out in blogging land.

Last year was a tough one for me, I have noted briefly on my blog that after a long marriage, we separated. This also meant leaving a co-housing community that we helped form 12 years ago (we needed to sell our home). I don't go on about it online (although I guess I just did :)

You might find my most recent post inspiring and it might generate a smile too.

Be well...

Beth said...

guy:
Thank you, my friend.

beth:
You're right. This blog is for me. And it provides such a supportive community of friends. Such as yourself!

lynn:
Thanks, pal. (And you would know how it all feels.)

myutopia:
The inner strength is there and I'm definitely using it...

mrs.g:
Oh, no - I'm not ill. Not to worry on that score. (Personal stuff.)
And I'm so glad you like my blog. I love my daily laugh from yours!

sherry:
It can certainly be a bumpy ride. Glad to have you around to make it just a bit smoother.

charlotta-love:
Perfect. You like my "bits" and I like yours!

shari:
Thank you - for those sweet words and the God bless.

oreneta:
Oh, I'm hanging in. The best wishes and support always help.

gary:
So you're familiar with what I'm going through (although each situation is unique). My best wishes and support to you as you cope and adjust.
I'll check that post. Smiles are always welcome!

Lainey-Paney said...

it's your blog. say what you like.

Lainey-Paney said...

...and isn't it amazing the strengths that we sometimes find within ourselves...sometimes out of necessity...

Eileen said...

Beth,
I totally get it! You have to do what feels right for you. I am just so glad that you are here blogging with us when you can. I love your blog and miss you when you are not around. BUT, you gotta take care of yourself first.
XOXOX

Dorky Dad said...

I'm perfectly happy with the Beth we get on this blog. You will get no complaints here.

Princess Pointful said...

As long as you don't feel stifled, that's what matters. This writing is for whatever you get from it... we just enjoy being along for the ride!

Beth said...

lainey-paney:
I've discovered many things about myself - some I like, some I don't. In some ways, it's a fascinating journey of self-discovery.

eileen:
I'm glad to be blogging with all of you, too. And I love your blog - such an inspiration for me.

dorky dad:
Thanks - I'm kind of partial to this Beth, too.

princess pointful:
Any "stifling" is a matter of choice on my part. Don't want to make the ride too bumpy on this blog - for you or for me!

patricia said...

Hell, I'll very happily take all of you...I'm sure your worst is actually some people's best...

Beth said...

patricia:
You'll be getting (all of) me soon!

Angela said...

Totally understandable, Beth. I add my wishes to the rest and loved the invitation to come as you are. We all need a place to be, and I'm trying to learn that even without anonymity as a guarantee, I can still share most of what I'd like to with a clean conscience. It is, after all, *our* story. Sending you lots of good thoughts.

Beth said...

angela:
Thanks.
I'm sharing what I can and keeping my conscience clean!