Andre Dubus III’s book title “House of Sand and Fog” came to mind as to where I’ve been this past while – although the “book” I’ve been inhabiting would be more aptly titled, “House of Pain and Fog” by Beth Stewart’s Back.
I do not like having to take prescription pain medication.
And I don’t to do it very often. But when none of my usual exercises/techniques work I do resort to DRUGS. They make me feel foggy, groggy and frustrated (as well as grumpy due to the previous three) - none of which are conducive to any creative thinking or writing – which includes blogging. Fortunately, these extended bouts are rare and this particular one is done, over, gone…
I am not whining or doing a “poor me” routine. This is my reality - has been since I was nineteen. Like others who live with chronic pain, I have adapted to it - and if I may say so, very well. If you saw me, I doubt you would ever know. Unless, of course, you have a very keen eye and then you might notice me getting a little antsy after sitting for a long period of time. Other than occasionally referring to my “wonky” back on my blog, it’s not something I dwell on because it just is…. It’s part of who and what I am – it’s my “normal.” I have blue eyes; I have a bad back.
This post is an exception because:
a) I wanted to explain my brief absence and
b) I also wanted to say this:
If you have a chronic pain condition, you have my sympathy and understanding. If you suffer from occasional episodes of pain due to whatever, ditto.
But if neither of the above applies to you, I’m asking you to take ten seconds (yes, just ten seconds, right now) to pause and be aware of your body. Take note of the absence of pain. Appreciate it. Be grateful for it. Do not take it for granted. And, damn it - enjoy it! (An excessive use of the word “it” but, hey, so be it…)
If there’s a positive aspect to my condition, it’s this – that on my no-pain days, I am very, very much aware of its absence and so appreciate such a wonderful state of being. And, yeah, I also feel a bit of envy (and am somewhat in awe) of those who experience this state every day.
End of mini-lecture, admonition, sermon-on-the-mount, etc., etc.
Just so you know – that image above? This latest bout was not caused by carrying a heavy book… ;)
photo credit: google images