“….but words will never hurt me.”
Oh, yes, words can and do hurt.
Seen and overheard in the parking lot of the LCBO:
A middle-aged couple – the wife (I assume) carrying some bottles of liquor and the husband with a cart full of them.
Wife (SHOUTING): “What the hell are you doing? I told you to stay….”
(I didn’t catch the rest of this – was in shock at the volume of and venom in her voice.)
Husband: “…mumble, mumble, mumble…”
(I didn’t catch this at all – his voice was barely audible.)
Wife (SHOUTING EVEN LOUDER): “Are you deaf or just plain stupid?”
Holy shit. This kind of thing may go in the privacy of peoples’ homes but in public?? I would not want to cross this woman and apparently neither did he. He didn’t respond to her question.
My sister and I glanced at them in passing (kind of hard not to) as we made our way to the LCBO. The woman waved her arm and yelled, “Go!” Was she talking to us or to him? We didn’t pause to find out – just kept walking.
Various Conclusions:
1. This marriage is in big trouble.
2. This is a marriage made in heaven – a sadist paired with masochist.
3. Although it was only 1:30 p.m., they’d already been drinking – or she had.
4. Once they returned home and started in on the newly purchased bottles, either one of them was going to suffer bodily harm or the husband was going to be subjected to even more verbal abuse. Or both.
An example of in vinos, veritas? Ugly, ugly truths.
This happened four days ago. Obviously, I found it disturbing since I’m still thinking about it. I know people can be cruel to one another and while I have theories as to why (low self-esteem? massive insecurities? power issues?) I’ve just never really understood how someone can inflict such cruelty upon another human being.
I’m not totally naïve, though. Evil exists. I just happen to live in a neighbourhood where it’s rarely seen.
photo credit: http://torontoist.com/2009/06/all_drink.php
23 comments:
I don't think such outbursts would be very shocking in most of the world. In Europe, on-lookers would probably smirk quietly at the battle axe as she vented. Perhaps there's more of a culture of politeness in North America.
Yuck. I knew a couple like that, one of my friends' parents. The mother was just constantly yelling at either her daughter (my friend) or her husband, who would never ever contradict her.
Eventually, I stopped going to her place (we were teens at the time) because it made me feel uneasy. You could never tell how the next minute was going to be, her mother could be in a good mood and very nice or start getting pissed off for no reason.
I would never in a million years talk to or tolerate being talked to like that. If I spoke at my husband like he was a disobedient dog he would walk out the door within seconds.
Poor people.
Have you considered that maybe he was deaf and stupid ; )
How utterly horrid, mostly for him. Here's hoping they never had kids.
arguing in public a such a low rent thing to do
I grew up with alcoholic parents but it took me decades of consciousness to realize the anger behind the drinking. I know that my own relationship to alcohol is, gratefully, not the same as my parents but I am painfully aware of how it does bring up the vile and the bile in me, even small amounts. As for the public display of dis-affection, well, just - YIKES! Having any kind of discussion like that in a very non-private setting is, in my humble opinion, sad.
Ahh, Beth -- I get what you are saying here. There is nothing more disturbing [nor sobering] to me than to see a couple in mid-fight mode.
Wait, the only thing more distressing is when a child is involved... parents yelling in an abusive way to their kid. I would rather see adults go at it.
Makes me glad I only live with a cat.
[Even though he too, sometimes verbally abuses me. But we keep it confined to these four walls at least!]
Yeah, it's extra shocking to hear someone speak to their "beloved" like that in public. Sad and disturbing.
Keep faith,
Robyn
ouch. I saw a couple much like that once. These ppl were sober, though, and had two small children with them. I'm assuming that ppl like them have had to have been happy at some point and I just can't imagine what must have happened to them or between them to make them that angry.
Good Lord. How revolting.
I've seen this sort of thing in airports - family on vacation and the wife (unfortunately it usually is) is screaming at her husband while the kids run amok - happy holidays. Where is the sense of propriety and embarrassment - evidently that was left at home as well.
Witnessing ugliness towards another human being sticks with me for a long time. No wonder it's still on your mind *shudder*
you are so lucky not to be exposed to this on a daily basis....it's evil and venom, like you said.
and I think it has alot to do with insecurity...and just plain mean-ass people.
XOXOX
booze is known to loosen many a tongue, words otherwise kept hidden, rightly or wrongly... he's a fool if he stays :(
I know a couple like that, and I wonder why the husband stays. I have seen his wife kick him in public, and she wasn't drunk nor drinking.
Poor man! In some relationships and families dysfunction is so common they barely realize that's not how it has to be.
I once saw this young couple in a gas station and the young man was telling his gf the most horrible things. Can't even repeat them. He was basically verbally stripping all her power away. I wanted to go over and tell her not to listen. But I had the feeling she'd just take it out on me.
So hard to know what to do in those situations...
people have complicated relationships. i think some couples actually enjoy tormenting each other.
perhaps they are co-dependent on each other.
as cherie so elequently said: yikes!
They must be a new couple. If they'd been together for a while, she would surely know if he was deaf or stupid without needing to ask.
What a cringe-making thing to witness. Calling someone stupid? There is NEVER an excuse for that.
Last night I saw a movie called Away We Go (charming and quirky; I recommend it) and there was a monstrous mother in it who said awful things about her children and claimed that they didn't pay any attention to it. Personally, I remember any unkind word . . . whether it was spoken to me, or uttered by me.
I've heard worse. Still, when I leave work I certainly don't want to hear it in public.
And that's when you shout, "Oh! I know! He must be STUPID because he's STILL putting up with YOU!"
It does make you wonder if it's even worse in the privacy of their home.
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