Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dumb as a Post?

So, based on feedback from my woe-is-me-i’ve-got-bloggers-block post, the consensus is I should write only when the spirit moves me, whatever I please and not fear boring or offending anyone.

Here goes….

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

I’m still hurting from attending my son’s graduation ceremony. Not in an achy breaky sentimental heart way but with BACK PAIN! Three hours of sitting at the convocation, sitting at lunch (had to eat) and the drive home. Oh, my god. I actually had one of my sons check to see if my spine is bruised. It isn’t. At least not on the outside. This too shall pass…with the aid of pharmaceuticals…

Another (boring?) item.

Take your thumb and Peter Pointer finger – place them almost touching one another but not quite. THAT’S how small I felt listening to the ten minute (each) professional résumés of two distinguished gentlemen who received a “Degree of Laws honoris causa.” I’m assuming that means an honourary degree. My Latin is rusty and I’m too lazy to look it up.

You could sum up my life accomplishments in under 30 seconds.

And here’s another gem – someone (not giving out any names) received a PhD having written the following thesis (and I’m making some of the words unrecognizable for fear of leading anyone to this blog):

The Regu*ation and Function of Hypo**ia-Inducib*e Fa*tor 2∂ (H*F-2∂) in an Immortalized Adreno**dullary Chro*afin Ce** Line.

Trust me. Even if I hadn’t used that “*” you probably wouldn’t recognize what the heck this thesis was all about. If you do know, leave a comment. You will impress the hell out of me. As did the person who wrote it.

(Spell check didn’t even recognize some of these words – nor do I think I found the correct symbol for the ∂ thingy.)

I am so humbled.

On a more positive, cheery note, it was a thrill watching my son walk across that podium. I restrained myself - did not yell out his name at that solemn moment but I did frantically wave my arms when he first entered the auditorium until he spotted me. I could still move at that point.

And if any of my sons decide to go to graduate school, I’m requesting a La-Z-Boy reclining chair for the next convocation ceremony.

14 comments:

sherry lee said...

Even through the pain (3 hours?!) and the boredom (why do they make us sit through all that crap? If they have to do it couldn't they at least make it interesting?!?!), you still maintain your sense of humour. I think a Laz-Y-Woman recliner should be mandatory at each and every one of these ceremonies!! Let's start a petition (I still have 2 years before my oldest graduates...we could have it in place by then!!).

Deidra said...

I'm sorry for your pain, but so glad you can laugh through it. Congratulations on making it through, and to your son, the graduate!

laughingwolf said...

sorry for the owies... try grass? :O

grad school convocation is a LOT faster, usually fewer folk in that echelon... older daughter thinks she'll go for her phd in 4-5 years, so i have about 10 years of no worries ;) lol

NYD said...

I went to my junior high school graduaion in a pair of shoes one size too small. Graduations are supposed to be painful.

Now about that thesis.. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to assist researchers with the English translations of their papers and this one is incomprehensible to me.
If I were to venture a guess, I'd say that whoever was doing this research was checking out cancer cells and their telomere activity in the adrenal glands.
The work I have been doing is associated with oral mucosal membranes.

Beth said...

sherry lee:
You are in for a treat! They even did the kids two at a time and still...
I wonder what locale could hold 2-3000 Laz-Y-Woman recliners?

deidra:
You can laugh or you can cry. I choose to laugh. :)

laughingwolf:
You've eased my mind (back) about grad school. As for grass? It's crossed my mind.

NYD:
Okay, right or wrong, you impressed the hell out of me.

oreneta said...

Either that or you'll have to find a restaurant doing Roman orgies so that you can recline on one of those chair jobs while they peel your grapes. Maybe you'd want to skip the vomitorium though.

Laura said...

All the yada yada yada should wait until someone retires. Honorary degrees? Isn't that an oxymoron? Or is that (don't shoot me) for online degrees?

Hope the ache heals before the next graduation ceremony.

I have to attend my high school's ceremony next week. I get to stand on the cement floor of a stadium providing "security" for three hours. Even in high school these things are interminable.

laughingwolf said...

should ease that pain, fur shur :)

Zhu said...

I have a lot of respect for people pursuing Phds, but at the same time, I always laugh when I hear thesis' subject. And of course, laugh at that one. Hopefully he is married because I really don't see a good pick up line ("hey honey, wanna see my Adreno**dullary?) :D

I'm with you on back pain... the longer you have to wait and seat in one place, the more uncomfortable will be the chairs. It's mathematical.

As for feeling small small small... Know what you mean.

I'm currently battling with a university here in Ottawa because I want to take a degree program. I have degrees from France but it's hard to get a job here without Canadian degrees... anyway, I had to hear recently that my degrees were worth sh*t and that I may have to start from scratch.

Oh, and this university is also asking me to prove that I speak French... even though they have copies of my FRENCH passport and all my transcripts from FRENCH schools and uni.

Nevermind.

Sorry, ranting. Guess I have a problem with universities right now! :D

Seraphine said...

well there you go again, measuring your life against everyone elses. but you know what? having a resume doesn't make you successful at life, any more than having money, boobs or a green thumb.
being proud of your son and going to his graduation... despite your back pain... and loving him- that's an accomplishment. that's real.

Beth said...

oreneta:
My Roman history is sketchy - didn't know about vomitoriums. Eating disorders go a long way back...

luara:
Those honourary degrees were definitely not accomplished on-line.
As for the cement floor? Small comfort but at least you'll be able to move! Good luck.

laughingwolf:
It's easing...

zhu:
No wonder you have a problem with universities! Hard to believe at least some credits aren't transferable. Give them hell - en francais!

seraphine:
You're sweet. Honestly, I don't measure myself against others. (Okay, maybe I do for a few fleeting seconds.) I made my choices and I'm just fine with them - and me!

Bee said...

How many people in the graduating class then? Should I try to persuade my children towards small liberal arts colleges? (he he)

Hope the back pain has eased . . . and I've got nothing to say about that PhD thesis. Clearly, there are many things in this world that I am not qualified to understand.

Zhu said...

I'm trying to Beth... I just can't believe how bureaucratic they are. I'm somewhat used to bureaucracy, being French and having gone through the immigration process in Canada, but this is... just crazy.

I'm quite mad today actually!

Seraphine said...

i don't know how many phds have been issued, but there are only so many esoteric research subjects about which to write.
mayhaps the more obscure the paper, the better it is received by the academic community?
or certainly, if one can flummox the faculty, it's an A+ dissertation...