Monday, May 12, 2008

Needles on a Haystack


I recently had my first experience with acupuncture. Once past my initial fear and horror of needles puncturing vital organs (I was so off base about that) I enjoyed it. And, more importantly, it helped – there was a noticeable reduction in pain.

Feeling very calm and Zen-like after the procedure, I walked to my car in a heavy downpour of rain. No matter – it was all good. Nature in all its wonder and glory. OOOMMM.

Started the car and turned on the windshield wipers. Fwap! Zing! Plunk! The damn passenger wiper snapped off, sailed into the air and landed on the hood of the car.

After my initial shock and surprise? Pissed off, I muttered the following words aloud:

“Shit, now my *Chi is all f**ked up again!”

Yes, I am sorry to say I really did utter such profanity. My Chi and my spiritual serenity had been disturbed both by this unexpected event and by my own foul mouth.

(*Chi is the vital energy that circulates throughout various channels in our bodies. Acupuncture helps keep this energy balanced in order to restore and/or maintain good health. And this brief summary of mine is probably not correct.)

Got out of the car, back into the pouring rain (not so thrilled with the downpour this time), retrieved the offending wayward object and tossed it in the back seat.

I regained my spiritual composure and sense of well-being (to a certain extent) with the positive and consoling thought that at least the driver’s wiper hadn’t taken a hike. I could still see to drive.

I have new wipers.

I must to do something about my potty mouth.

I need a mantra.


25 comments:

The Guy Who Writes This said...

"Shit, now my *Chi is all f**ked up again!” is a perfectly good mantra. You should use it...

Lizabeth said...

I really love acupuncture, mostly for the zen awareness reason. And it works so well for what ails ya, most of the time. I'd get acupuncture twice a week if I could.

Psychgrad said...

I was skeptical about acupuncture, but have found it to help in the past.

Barrie said...

Sounds like you've found your mantra. :)

More seriously, how interesting to know it worked.

Sornie said...

Has even the price of Chi gone up recently? If it uses any wheat, I'm sure it has.

Charlotta-love said...

Oh, I've always wanted to try acupuncture but am too afraid. Why isn't it called acu-needle or acu-prick. AcuPUNCTURE? That's why I'm scared.

Casdok said...

Sounds good to me!! :)

oreneta said...

You know, I have a potty mouth too, and I honestly kind of like it.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

hahahaha thi would absolutely happen to me.

Chelsea Talks Smack said...
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Chelsea Talks Smack said...
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Beth said...

guy:
But will I achieve inner peace with that mantra?

lizabeth:
I'm glad I finally tried it. Waited far too long.

psychgrad:
The best part about being a skeptic are the unexpected (and wonderful) surprises we get out of life.

barrie:
Must find a better one.

sornie:
The cost of Chi? Priceless.
(And partially covered by health insurance.)

charlotta-love:
Afraid? So was I. Don't be. Those needles do not hurt at all.
(And, sweetie, I don't think calling the procedure "acu-prick" would be a great alternative.)

casdok:
And felt good to me!

oreneta:
Truth be told? I'm rather impressed with mine - and so used to it.

chelsea talks smack:
I should have predicted it...

VE said...

Funny...I would have taken that as a sign to move to Phoenix.

Patti said...

I had a similar experience with some cookies today. F*cked up chi'i all around.

Beth said...

ve:
I'm not into reading signs - yet...

patti:
Damn, it's hard to keep that Chi balanced, isn't it?

Eileen said...

Beth,
I know it wasn't funny at the time, but this made me laugh out loud. I can so relate to this experience!

I think a new mantra is in order, gotta keep working on keeping those Chi's in balance. I have to say "Shit, now my Chi is all f**ked up again!" is one of the best I have heard.

Seriously, I am so glad you tried acupuncture. I have always wanted to, but have been a bit of a chicken. I may rethink that. I have heard such great things about it.

XOXOX

Mike M said...

Zen and car's never went together very well. I suppose that is why monks in China don't drive. Too many problems to get aggravated over.

Damn cars!

Attila The Mom said...

I'm shocked, I tell you! Simply shocked!

LOL

Lainey-Paney said...

"I will not fucking cuss anymore. I will do my damndest, try like hell, to get that shit out of my vocabulary."

"I will not fucking cuss anymore. I will do my damndest, try like hell, to get that shit out of my vocabulary."

"I will not fucking cuss anymore. I will do my damndest, try like hell, to get that shit out of my vocabulary."

...is "damndest" a word? I mean, I know we've used it in conversation before...but is it a word??? hmmmm....

All Mod Cons said...

TOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!! Love it!

Trish said...

A broken wiper on a rainy day will f**k up anybody's chi.

My mantra? - "make mine a double" - it brings back my chi every time.

Minnesota Matron said...

Ha! Too funny reminds me of the era where I used to smoke after yoga class. Yes.

Beth said...

LOL!!! Girl!!! Sucha potty mouth you have!!!!! I LOVE it!!!

Princess Pointful said...

That is my new favourite quote of the day!!

VE said...

You know, if it gets me out of work...I'll celebrate it!