Friday, April 04, 2008
“In the space between yes and no, there’s a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the legroom for the lies you’ll tell yourself in the future.”
Change of Heart
I found this paragraph intriguing. Right up until the very last line, I was reading it in a positive light rather than as a lesson in self-deception.
I really don’t want that “legroom” for lying to myself – now or in the future.
Realistically? I suspect I do lie to myself. I suspect we all do to some extent. We rationalize our behaviour in order to live with ourselves - in order to live with the poor decisions and mistakes we’ve made. But we don’t think of this as lying. We are justifying our behaviour and choices.
I’d rather believe I’m striving to become that person I always thought I could be - while at the same time realistically accepting (and loving) who I really am right now.
But to do so means facing the truth about myself – no lies. That’s a very tall order – and a tough one.
Is it possible? Can any of us actually do this?
At the very least, I can question the “stories” I’ve told myself. In fact, I’ve already uncovered some whoppers this past year. And even as I’m coming to terms with those, I suspect I’ll still be guilty of more in the future. I just don’t plan on giving them very much “legroom.”