Sunday, February 17, 2008

No Thanks



While wasting precious moments (hours!) of my life at the hairdresser I was flipping through some home decorating magazines.

(Home decorating is not my thing but I’d finished with the current junk mags and didn’t fancy reading the “for men only” ones.)

These are some pretty fancy bathrooms, right? Gorgeous. Creative genius and all that.






But look carefully…..

There are no (or minimal) window coverings on the windows!!!

How in the name of God is it possible to take a relaxing bath or shower knowing someone could be taking a peek at you? I wouldn’t even feel comfortable if some animal in a tree or on the roof (a squirrel, a raccoon) was the Peeping Tom. And forget about skylights. You’re just inviting the raccoons for a show.

Needless to say, the wooden slatted blinds in my bathroom are pulled way down. And I make sure there is not an inch of peeping space to be had. (I’m wary of the neighbours across the street or any ambitious pervert with a ladder.)

Keep your fancy-schmancy bathrooms. I prefer my privacy – or extending by invitation only passes.


Now, skinny-dipping in the lake at night at the cottage is a completely different matter. I don’t even care if the bears see me. Well, I do care about the bears – I’m afraid of them. They can watch from the other side of the lake.



(P.S. I did not rip out these pages from the magazines. I hate people who do that. I found these (similar) images via Google.)

20 comments:

Mamma said...

I really do like that blue bathroom. If I faced the woods, I wouldn't worry about the windows, but here in suburbia?? I like my neighbors too much to subject them to visions of my in the bath.

Lynda said...

Yep a bathroom with no curtains would be a blast in Cairo... but perhaps all these bathrooms are on private estates on private islands with guard dogs... LOL Sometimes those pictures for magazines are just plain ridiculous (and usually insane if you have any children in the house!)

oreneta said...

My bathroom here doesn't even have a window. Privacy assured, but.....
and then there are my kids who always come in too....

Mrs. G. said...

Yes, I am one of those people who would bathe in my underclothes if I did the laundry on a regular basis. Like you, I need absolutely no peekage available.

Also, I look at those palatial bathrooms and think, "who in the hell is going to clean it?" A couple of those are larger than my kitchen. But I'm guessing if you have a bathroom like that, you probably are paying someone else to do the cleaning.

Beth said...

mamma:
I like the blue bathroom, too. I would LOVE it with some window coverings!

lynda:
I guess your neighbours would have a great view!
And, yeah, the rooms in those magazines are unreal. Rarely a sign of a human being (or kids and dogs) living there.

oreneta:
A plus re: no window (sort of...). And how nice that your kids "visit." Wonder when they'll stop letting you visit?

mrs. g.:
Good expression - "no peekage available." It would make for a great sign on the door (or window/windows).

Sherry said...

Here it is, a deplorably dull rainy grey day and I come here and I laugh -- because you write so beautifully and I can "hear" you telling me these things!!

I prefer to have something on my windows too -- you never who might see what.

but I'm really laughing at you making sure we know you didn't rip the pages out of the magazine!!!! Beth you are so cute!!!

Beth said...

sherry:
I may not know who might see but I know what they might see!
It never occurred to me that someone might find my P.S. funny - glad it made you laugh on this INCREDIBLY dreary day!
How are you liking the ice?? I've risked life and limb numerous times today. I am NOT going out again!

Trish said...

I wonder how much real bathroom activity goes on in such perfect bathrooms?

charlotta-love said...

I'm the same. I need curtains or blinds. I used to be so scared of windows that I wanted a room with just walls. (I thought a kidnapper was somehow going to break in through my window). Now my bedroom is on the 2nd floor. No worries about kidnappers.

oh, and I'm guilty...I totally tear out recipes from magazines. *sorry.

Eileen said...

Beth, The first thing I thought of, before I even read your words, was "where are the window coverings?" That would make me crazy, and not want me to take a bath or shower.

So if you skinny dip at night, do those mean, ugly turtles sleep at night?

XOXOX

Beth said...

trish:
I'm not sure if I was supposed to, but your comment made me laugh. Give my boys a few days (a day?) in one of those bathrooms and it will look "real!"

charlotta-love:
Tear all the recipes you want out of magazines - I don't care about them!

eileen:
Like-minded (modest) women.
Good question about the turtles. I think we have managed to convince ourselves they sleep at night. Out of sight, out of mind.
We haven't bumped into one...yet...

Diesel said...

Silly, silly Beth. The trick is to have armed eunuchs guarding a 3 mile radius around your bathroom. They always shoo the eunuchs out of the way when they take those pictures.

Patti said...

Oh yuck. You reminded me of when I was about 21, our bathroom had no window coverings, but there was only wilderness out there...One night I was getting into the tub, I happened to look out, and there was a teen age boy watching me. (Shudders) Now my bathroom has NO windows, artificial lighting only!

Beth said...

diesel:
Pictures?? I never thought of pictures being taken!
(Can't afford the eunuch guards. Very pricey in Canada.)

patti:
Sorry to have triggered a bad memory - but it shows my fear is legit!

Beth said...

dang!!! That second bathroom looks bigger than my whole stinkin house!!!

as for window coverings? I gotta have 'em...wouldn't want to be scaring away all the wildlife and peeping toms in my area, ya know...

Dorky Dad said...

Are you reading Exhibitionist Weekly again?

When you're done with that, you should get a load of the Spring styles shown in Vanity Fair. My God ...

Beth said...

beth:
I was thinking some of those rooms would make a nice study/office for me - minus the bathtubs.

dorky dad:
I let my subscriptions lapse to both those magazines.
(What the hell are you doing reading Vanity Fair?)

Princess Pointful said...

I guess some people find sunlight essentially when doing their, um, business.

La La said...

Every time I take a bath, a cat comes in and goes you know what in the litter box.

Beth said...

la la:
Charming...