“To make a long story short.”
When you hear this line, hunker down. You’re in for the long haul. Sadly, the person truly believes they edited their story.
“Well, if you want my advice.”
Note - this is usually said when you did not ask for any advice.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but…”
This one really slays me. They know you don’t want to hear it and they’re going tell you anyway!
“Do you want to know a secret?”
Depends on who’s asking. But no matter who is doing the telling, it sure as hell isn’t a secret anymore. And I make a point of never telling any secret of mine to a person who asks this question.
“I’ve gotta tell you about this movie I saw…”
No, you don’t! Please, God, no…
“I know nobody asked for my opinion but…”
Right. Nobody asked but we’re going to get it anyway. Crap.
“This will just take a minute.”
I think your minute is longer than my minute.
“Try some – you’ll love it.”
That line might work on a kid but it doesn’t work with me anymore.
“Okay, lets figure out who owes what…”
Ladies, please! Let’s just divide the restaurant bill evenly.
Nooo! DO NOT get out your calculators!
“Could you do me a little favour?”
After years of experience, I now reply, “Depends what it is.”
I never say, “Sure.”
Oh, geez, there are tons of these phrases. I’m getting all agitated just thinking of them. Must stop.
Would you care to make a contribution?
(HAH! Tricked ya’. That’s yet another one…)