Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Hostess With The Leastest



I am the hostess of Book Club tonight.

And, no, my Book Club is not merely an excuse for a group of women to get together to chat and gossip.

We discuss the book - and then we gossip. No, wait, first we gossip and then we discuss the book. Oh, never mind…

Anyway, this is supposed to be a simple, friendly gathering of brilliant, literary women.

So why the hell will I be cleaning the toilets and sinks, dusting, clearing away junk, picking up clumps of dog hair and – god help me – BAKING COOKIES??

And, oh, crap, even as I write this I just remembered I forgot to buy a bottle of wine. Which also means I have to get out the wine glasses, too.

Ditto as to serving the discussion time munchies and the apr├Ęs discussion time fruit tray, cookies and cheesecake - which I bought. (And, no, I will not try passing it off as home-made.)

Somebody (who the hell was it??) raised the bar way too high for Book Club evenings. Or maybe just too far out of my lazy-ass reach.

Guys – if they had Book Clubs – would serve beer, pretzels and potato chips.

As for this evening’s book selection – a random pre-meeting consensus has us all disliking it. Which sometimes makes for a great discussion as we put in our two cents as to why we dislike a book.

Or we just do a collective eye-roll and commence with the chit-chat.

Note - female chit-chat should never be underestimated. It is an amazing source of connection, support, understanding and laughter.

In fact, some evenings the book doesn’t really matter – we are there for each other.

33 comments:

oreneta said...

Aw honey...they like you for you not the cookies....buy the wine, but order pizza, check the toilet won't make them gag and throw a clean towel on the rack...after that, you're ready....

Shari said...

They come for the food and company. If something's a little off, they'll feel better knowing you aren't perfect. :) (I tell myself that. Easier said than done.)

Book clubs...I always see that on TV. I didn't think that it was that common to have Book Clubs. But then again, that's probably why it's on TV so much. :)

Lainey-Paney said...

you know guys wouldn't buy pretzels & chips...they'd order pizza. That way the food could be delivered!

:)

But I'm like you: I'd bust my buns getting the house ready, even though the gals are there for the company--not a home inspection.

Rebecca said...

My grandmother used to say, "Did you come to see me or my house?" But still, I obsessively clean before company comes.

Sherry said...

Last sentence said it all Beth...you are there for each other!
True, guys would do beer and pretzels...AND the toilet bowl would NOT be cleaned!!
We care as much about our surroundings as we do about everything else which is why we go into overdrive when we have people into our homes...we know we are seen as much by how we live outside as we do on the inside.
What is the book??

lynn said...

BAKING!?

Beth said...

oreneta:
Everything you say is true - but I just can't leave it at that! Everyone else does such a bang-up job.

shari:
They already know I'm not perfect! I once served a banana loaf that had a bit of mold on it!! (Store bought, of course.)
I thought I'd mention this faux pas before MY SISTER MEGAN does - in case she reads this post and decides to comment.

lainey-paney:
Good point about the pizza.
And I'm glad to hear you're as obsessive as I am. Makes me feel better.

rebecca:
My aunt says, "Night light is kind."
We should really listen to these words of wisdom from our elders.

sherry:
A big shudder at the thought of the toilet bowl - I live in a house of males.
And, yes, I subscribe to the theory that my home is a reflection of me. Which begs the question - why don't I let the "real" me show?
(I'll e-mail you the name of that book.)

lynn:
Yes, my dear! But you know me too well. We're not talking from scratch. The Pillsbury Doughboy is helping me out!

tim said...

You forgot the first rule of Book Club - you do not talk about Book Club!

The second rule of Book Club is also you do not talk about Book Club!

(Sorry. Had to channel Fight Club...)

patricia said...

I bet a book club with you in it would be a blast. I've never actually joined a book club, mainly because I'm not much of a joiner.

If I were to host a book club meeting, I'd be busting my ass, cleaning the house from top to bottom, and having plenty of good food and drink available. Don't know why. Are all us women hard-wired to entertain that way? I know the hubby always says I fuss too much when anyone is coming over.

Have a great time!

Beth said...

tim:
I recently saw that on a t-shirt - in reference to Book Clubs.
My rules are - you can blab about whatever you want on your blog!

patricia:
I think you would have a blast - I've been known to have laughing fits during discussion time! (The fact that my sister is in the group helps get me going.)

Trish said...

Blame it all on Martha Stewart, but have fun anyways...

Guys and Book Clubs? I don't think I have ever seen those two words together in a sentence before.

All Mod Cons said...

Hey, us guys can have conflabs about books! Only yesterday I was conflabbing away with the Viking about a Terry Pratchett book. And I'd much prefer a discussion about books over some home baked cookies than beer and them twirly savory things.

MyUtopia said...

Your book club sounds like ours. We talk about the book for an hour, hour 1/2 and then gossip and pig out on junk food.

Beth said...

trish:
Martha Stewart - my nemesis.
I invited my boy us to join us tonight. Strange, they said, "No, thanks." Not even the food could tempt them.

all mod cons:
So, men have ConFlabs and women have Book Clubs.
BTW, I burnt my arm taking those cookies out of the oven. I should be banned from the kitchen. (Please.)

myutopia:
And isn't that exactly how Book Clubs should be?

Beth said...

TRISH:
"my boy us" ???
Should read "my boys."
Slipped by me...hate that...

Princess Pointful said...

I hate those people who spontaneously raise the bar.
It is those same people, in what was supposed to be a casual, laid back presentation, suddenly show up with powerpoint full of dancing graphics.

However, it does sound like a lovely night, nonetheless.

Gary said...

Bet everyone loves you and the evening - the book is a vehicle.

Hmmmmm - a book club with my male friends? Some are quite literate and we actually do talk about books (okay Brian and Doug at least). I'd put out whisky, wine and olives and hummous for them I think.

As for my other guy friends, I think you're right - beer, chips and don't count on anyone having read the tome. Now a discussion about hockey, Red Green or the Trailer Park Boys and we're flying...

JR's Thumbprints said...

Reminds me of the wife's "Girl's Night Out." As for myself, I'm too much of a homebody. As for the t-shirt, it's too girlish. Something about the color of the letters. Actually, I'd rather get a ThugLit t-shirt; if only they'd quit rejecting my stories.

Mrs. G. said...

Book club is one of my favorite nights of the month...and the chit chat is always fabulous. Have fun.

Eileen said...

I have always wanted to be in a book club, one like you have just described. How wonderful for you to have a group of people to get together work, discussing books, munching on yummy snacks and having lots of laughs. Does not get much better. Have fun!! Wish I could join you, but I am there in spirit (even thou, technically I was not invited) XOXOXO

Beth said...

princess pointful:
It was a lovely evening.
Wine, women and laughter!
And, yes, we also discussed the book...

gary:
I'd love to join a hockey discussion! Unfortunately, not too many of my women friends share my passion for the game.

jr:
It's exactly like a girl's night out - except this girl had to provide the "out."
Get a ThugLit t-shirt anyway - might change your luck.

mrs.g:
Once a month would be great - we meet every six weeks. Not sure why. It doesn't take anyone of us that long to read a book.

eileen:
Consider yourself invited to the next one - in the spirit or in the flesh!

Tim said...

The last time that I wrote about my experience as a guy with book clubs, I had to apologize to women in three countries. Paraphrasing carefully: I'd love to be in a book club - they simply don't seem to exist for men. For some reason.

Beth said...

tim:
Did I take part in that verbal thrashing of yours? I have a vague recollection of such a post.

You worded your comment here very carefully. Well done.

lynn said...

Thank heavens. You had me worried there for a second.

Beth said...

lynn:
Scary thought, eh?
Beth beginning a new pastime of baking...

adrienne said...

If you're anything like me, you do all the last minute cleaning so your friends won't see how you really live.

In our book club, the hostess provides the wine and the crockpot cheese (don't ask), and everyone brings a snack. Some are homemade, some are store bought. Nobody cares.

Hope you had a great time, anyway.

Beth said...

adrienne:
We did have a great time.
I like your point re: cleaning up so people don't see how I really live. I should try just leaving things as they are (kind of messy). Those people are my friends!

hip_ragdoll said...

What was the book that you all didn't quite like?

Beth said...

hip_ragdoll:
I can't tell you here - that would be mean! I'll send you an e-mail.

Brendan said...

Guys – if they had Book Clubs – would serve beer, pretzels and potato chips.

Right. And as further evidence of our superior intelligence, we would wait till afterwards to clean the toilet.

Beth said...

brendan:
I would wait until afterwards too if just men attended my Book Club.

Brendan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brendan said...

Actually, the truth is, we wouldn't even clean it afterwards. Only time it would happen is five minutes before the next female guest was due to arrive.

Other guys, I mean.