Friday, May 04, 2007

Enough Already!


Yes, I know, I’ve cursed and cussed before about the incredible number of charitable requests I receive.

I AM ON EVERYBODY’S LIST!

I’m ranting again. I just have to.

This latest request is the absolute ultimate in terms of WTF??

I have been asked to help save The Marmot. Give me strength.

“Extinction means forever” it states on the letter. Check. Got it.

And if I send money, I will be welcomed as a new “Marmoteer.” No, thank you — not something I aspire to right now. Or ever.

My apologies to anyone who belongs to this organization and/or to anyone who may be indignant because I’m taking issue with (okay, sort of making fun of…) this particular charitable foundation. I’m sure you do good work, etc., etc. I am sorry if I offend you.

(So don’t read any further.)

But, honest to God, I’ve had enough. Yes, marmots are probably a vital part of the food chain and they’re cute little furry things and there are “less than 100 left in the wild” — BUT I DON’T CARE AND I’M NOT SENDING ANY MONEY!

There are starving children in the world, homeless people, an AIDS epidemic, droughts, famines, wars, refugees, natural disasters — there are hundreds of worthy causes to support. And I do.

But the buck stops here. Uh-uh. No money for marmots.

Suggestion — don’t send Marmot gift cards with your requests. Use that money for the marmots.

Oh, hell, I’m probably going to get hits on this blog from marmot lovers. I’ll end up in their bad books. I will become a marked anti-marmot woman.

You know what? I suggest they get in touch with Paris Hilton. She’s got the big bucks and would probably be thrilled to join the Adopt-a-Marmot Club. Hell, she could probably fit a few of them in one of her (many) (butt-ugly) designer purses.

JUST TAKE ME OFF YOUR LIST!

17 comments:

Jackie said...

Bless you!!!. That's exactly how I feel about soooo many charitable organizations. Anything you can think of has an organization to preserve and protect. I do wish that we had better scrutiny of what actually warrants tax free - charitable status.

BTW, Welcome back to Army boy. Great move and so good for you!

oreneta said...

That was SOOOO good....

You rant like a pro. Sounds like I feel right now.

Rebecca said...

You should send the marmot people your rant, along with a request to take you off their list.

Last night my husband was ranting about the twice weekly flyers we get from our MP on climate change/the environment. STOP PRINTING FLYERS THEN!

Trish said...

I know!!

I am so fed up with being "guilted" into participating in this and that charitable organization...

Now the marmot?

Beth said...

What the hell is a Marmot anyway? And who gives a crap...other than whoever sent that to you!!!

John said...

Beth stole my line! What the hell is a Marmot!? It looks a bit like a Beaver, with a whiteish bit on its nose.

Hold on...is it SPECIFICALLY Canadian? If it is, then I may have to adopt one...

Beth said...

jackie:
Yeah, this one kind of put me over the edge. Geez.
And Army Boy's return is such a blessing.

oreneta:
I am a pro ranter!
And you rant very well yourself...

rebecca:
You know, I actually gave to some charities on-line and requested no further paper mail. And, gee, guess what? They're still coming via mail. TOO MUCH PAPER!

trish:
No way I could be "guilted" over this one. More of a shake my head and write a rant reaction.

beth:
I actually looked it up - just for you! They are part of a rodent family that also includes woodchucks, groundhogs, large ground squirrels, etc.
And I do not (as you say) give a crap.

john:
See above re: what the hell is a marmot.
The request I received was for the marmots in Vancouver so, yes, this particular request refers to Canadian marmots. Want the info? I'll happily send it along!

Tracey said...

Oh, come on Beth! Be a Marmoteer! They'll probably send you little ears and buck teeth to wear, you'll be so cute! Do it! Do it! And the post the picture, cuz I wanna laugh.

Beth said...

tracey:
Just like a Mouseketeer!
I gave that possibility some thought (about one second's worth) - NO WAY!

patricia said...

Oh that is funny. You made me smile big-time. I had no idea what was going on with those Marmots.

But really...they ARE damn cute! ;)

cipriano said...

Beth, does this mean I should not hit you up for a contribution to my "SEND JACK TO COLLEGE" fund?
Damn!
I have the pamphlets printed and the whole deal!

adrienne said...

Uh-uh. Paris can't help. She spent all her money on an unsuccessful attempt to keep her sorry ass out of jail. Oh, that and her new boobs.

Diesel said...

Beth hates marmots.

JR's Thumbprints said...

So I guess this would be the wrong time to ask for a charitable donation to bail me out of jail. Just kidding.

Beth said...

patricia:
No idea what's going on with the marmots? For shame! I'm giving your name to the organization - you can adopt one of those cuties for your very own.

cipriano:
Let's put it this way - if Jack actually gets accepted by a college or university, call me. Then we'll talk money.

adrienne:
Uh-oh. I'm way behind on my trash reading.

diesel:
My first post-rant taunter!

(Shucks, I knew this would happen...)

jr:
And I was under the impression you worked in the system!
Post the bail amount on your blog and I'll see what I can do.

Princess Pointful said...

Brilliant!
By virtue of donating to a few worthy causes, the amount of requests I get has multiplied exponentially.
As has the number of address labels to guilt trip me into donating-- everyone uses that tactic and it's a huge waste of money.
Bah.

Beth said...

princess pointful:
I love it when they get the name on those labels wrong. Makes it so much easier to toss them in the blue box!