Monday, December 11, 2006

The Good,The Bad and The Crazy


The above image is from The New York Times Magazine (Sunday December 10, 2006 edition). Am I allowed to post this image? My computer genius son says anything on the Internet is fair game. I’m going with that.

Click on the picture for a close-up. If the print is still too small to read, go to the link — you’ll find it there. It's worth reading.

This is a chart of patents in the U.S. Still pending? Not sure. I can certainly wait for a fair number of them to make it into the world. Some are absolutely crazy. Granted, I’m not spending my day solving world hunger but neither am I taking off on flights of fancy to the world of the lunacy.

A covered bicycle with a door? Why don’t we just wear a cardboard box while walking? That way, we can avoid the sun and fresh air whenever we leave the house.

An umbrella with a sprinkler device? Huh? Am I missing something here?

A device for moistening toilet paper? I’m not even going there.

I do like the head-nodding alarm to avert sleep while driving. I’d like one for my husband. I worry when he’s driving without me to keep him (nag him) awake.

I also like the sleep-inducing toothpaste. I’d buy it. I might even use it during the day — to escape stressful moments, endure long car rides (as a passenger). Take a little snooze with fresh smelling breath. Wonder if you need a prescription?

I tried coming up with a nutty one of my own. Other than the cardboard box thing, I can’t do it. My brain functions on a more practical level. Sure, I’m capable of great leaps of imagination but not into the world of “what the hell??”

However, prompted by the idea of the head-nodding alarm, I came up with a useful device. How about a sensor to detect unacceptable levels of alcohol in the driver of a car? This would (somehow) be permanently attached to the steering wheel. If it sensed levels over the legal limit, the car would not start. I’m working on the details.

Pretty good? Should I apply for a patent?

Can you come up with a useless — or better yet, useful — invention? Give it your best shot and let me know. Wouldn’t it be great to make big bucks and improve the world?

6 comments:

Trish said...

There are some really interesting items here like the Lap Dance Liner? I don't think I want to know. And then there is the Advertising Space on Escalator Handrails? Like we need more places to read ads...um, no. But the one that really has me scratching my head is the Nose Bleed Lip Pack. Wha...? This sounds like one of those "translation" attempts seen on Japanese signs.

An invention I'd like to see is a "Teenage Attitude Adjuster". As soon as it detects raised voices and stomping feet it shuts off the electricity and causes cars not to start.

Beth said...

trish - Or how about an "alarm mattress" for teenagers? When it goes off, it dumps them out of bed. Ahh, they'd probably just go back to sleep on the floor...

adrienne said...

I hate to tell you this, but your alcohol sensor sort of already exists. They install them in cars owned by repeat offender drunk drivers. They have to blow in the breathalizer and have an acceptable blood alcohol level to start the car.

On the teenage front - how about a drama detector. I am always hit blindside by drama. I teach a group of 19 girls in dance. Every stinkin' week somebody has some drama for which dance practice comes to a screeching halt while we coddle someone out of their tears.

Beth said...

adrienne - Damn, not an original thought in my head. Still, parents should be able to install those things in their cars when their kids drive.
Re: teen female drama - when I hear about it, I'm so glad I had boys...

oreneta said...

Gotta check out chindogu if you like this stuff...google it, I have a link too, I THINK it is www.Chindogu.com If it isn't it should be.

Beth said...

oreneta - that is one weird site...