I choose to believe it is a
testament to my friendly and seemingly innocent demeanor that I managed to
avoid offending an extremely nice gentleman. (I hope.) I
should also credit my lifelong aura of “niceness” (something I usually bemoan)
and his good nature.
The gentleman - a salesman
at Staples - was assisting me in finding a power adapter and cover for my new
Kindle. The power adapter? No problem. But the availability of covers to fit my particular Kindle
was limited. As we leaned forward
gazing at the selection in the small display area, we were so close our heads
almost touched.
Taking one of the covers off
a metal rung, he held it out for my inspection. “How about this one?”
I gave it a brief glance,
resumed looking at the display and announced, “I don’t like the colour black.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I froze -
mortified.
He was black.
Up to this point, we’d had
been engaging in a friendly chat about e-readers & other book related
topics. There was now compete and utter
silence. Which lasted only a
matter of seconds but which seemed much, much longer.
I didn’t dare look at him to
gauge his reaction to my thoughtless & offensive (although unintentionally
so) remark. Nor did I apologise or
attempt an explanation for fear of making an awkward situation even more
so. Instead, in an effort to
rectify my social faux pas, I committed yet another one. “But
I do like brown.”
I bought the black
cover. It fit. And it looks very nice.
To my amazement, he walked
with me to the cashier’s desk, carrying the adapter. Which I was quite capable of carrying myself. And he resumed our friendly chat –
stayed with me while I paid for my purchases.
He chose to overlook
(forgive?) my stupid, stupid, stupid
remarks. Or perhaps he never even
noticed my insensitivity? I
wish…
I still cringe thinking of
the encounter. And while I didn’t
apologise then, I’m offering an apology now. For all the good that does…
Worse yet? (Well, it can’t be worse than what I
did.) I can’t be certain or
guarantee I won’t do such a thing again.
How does one censor a lifelong tendency to be friendly, chatty and
unguarded? I suppose I could
always restrict myself to “yes” or “no” and “please” and “thank you” responses
when talking with strangers.
Doubtful.
photo credit: goggle images
18 comments:
AWKWARD!!!!! OMG!!!!!
You made him feel awkward by feeling awkward. "Black" as in the funereal colour has little to do with the racial description. There is nothing wrong with not liking the colour black. I'm sure many "black" people don't like it.
hah!
i do things like that... often not catching it til more'n a tad late
my genius can be s l o w at times...
On the other hand: if you made a flat statement of "I don't like the color white," I wouldn't be offended just because I'm white.
I think: not wanting a black kindle cover is completely different than saying, "I don't like black people."
I just don't think that if I was a Staples employee and you didn't like something in the color white, that I would associate it with liking or not liking white people.
....that's my $0.02.
What Lainey-Paney said is true.
And for the record my Kindle cover is brown
Oh,Beth! You would relate to my tale of woe trying to learn the iPad - "An 'i' for an 'i'." It's in my March archives at www.ALIttleBitOff.net. Loved your piece!
oreneta:
Yeah, quite so…
GB:
Still, I think we felt awkward simultaneously – hence the mutual silence. And my next remark didn’t help. But what a great guy.
LW:
Your genius may be slow – my mouth works too fast...
Lainey-Paney
I still wish I’d simply said, “I don’t want the colour black.”
nursemyra:
My colour of choice – too bad it didn’t fit.
Cathy:
I’ll check it out. Thanks for the visit!
Oh, please forgive me for laughing so hard and so long. We are so darned conditioned to be P.C. Your first comment should never have been taken personally, but through common jargon, of course YOU thought it MIGHT be. Oh, poor you. I hope that at least you got something you like. Oh dear, still laughing. And commending you on your diplomacy. giggle snort
Oh I can imagine the scene! I doubt he thought much of it though, I think sometimes we are being too sensitive and too PC.
We can get pretty offensive with our cultural jokes at home (it happens when you mix several cultures!) and I have to watch what I say with people who don't know me much.
And I have the same BLACK cover :-D
Zhu:
You’re right – and I’m sure he’s long since forgotten the incident whereas I…
Nice cover!
The Bodhi Chicklet:
You’re forgiven – and you made me laugh. A sense of humour is a wonderful thing…
My diplomacy??!!
hahaha. sometimes we do that. i do it too without much thinking. i think the man knew that you didnt mean that :)
what i hate is when some intentionally do it over and over again. i know a few here. they must like retarded or something.
Jaya J:
I would never, ever do such a thing intentionally. And I think he did know that.
I think you are over-thinking this...because you are trying to be politically correct -- without even thinking about it. Not liking the colour black has nothing to do with the colour of someone's skin...and I'm thinking that the salesman didn't even notice it. Take comfort from that!
Sherry:
Over-thinking - one of my many (and well-established) flaws. Can often lead to trouble - imaginary or otherwise... ;)
Oh Beth, I've made that type of comment (and MUCH worse) many times. I understand your feelings. I'd feel the same. But he likely thought nothing of it. You were looking at kindle covers, not commenting on skin pigmentation. It's tough to always be sensitive and politically correct, mixed with human.
xoRobyn
Robyn:
Much worse? If so, I feel MUCH better knowing there's someone else who suffers from "foot in mouth disease." ;)
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