Monday, January 30, 2012

Down But Not Out...




Apparently, I set the bar awfully high in my last blog post as to the conditions of my return – to be rested and cheerful.  Considering what’s still going on in my life, god knows when either of these conditions will ever be met.  For sure, there’s light at the end of the tunnel but it seems to be coming from a 15W bulb.

So, as a distraction (an escape?) I’m back.  And what have I got to say?  Not much.  But I’m determined to churn out an upbeat blog post.

(ten minutes have passed – trying to come up with something positive – it’s not happening…)

Bloody hell.  I’m stumped.  This is so not me.  I’m going to have to resort to an attempt at humour – at my own expense.

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE WRITTEN THAT!  I just knocked over my coffee mug – coffee all over the kitchen counter and on and in the stove!  Shit.  (I would have found this amusing - had it happened to someone else.)

About the attempt at humour at my own expense?  I’m limiting it to two more.  Consider the coffee spill # 1.

# 2 – Tripped on a mat in the fruit and vegetable section of the grocery store the other day and my cart hit a full basket of lemons.  An intriguing and almost beautiful fall-out from the encounter, but still…embarrassing and a pain in the ass to pick up.

# 3 – Finally lost it with the site supervisor in charge of renovations next door.  (Horrendous noise, reverberations and blocking of my driveway since September.)  So, there I am – in a rage – standing in the mud pit of a front yard beside some effing loud machine – arms flailing, voice raised (and wobbly), a few tears (of frustration) – giving him holy hell.  Very, very effective – particularly the tears bit.  I should have done this months ago.  Every workman who observed this scene now nods to me with a quiet hello and stays a safe distance from the crazy lady.  No more blocking of the driveway, stomping about on my front yard or walking on my roof.  Looking and behaving like an idiot can work.  (Although not with lemons.)

Have these accounts of my follies and foibles made you smile?  A bit?  They worked for me.  I’m smiling.  Success – from my end.



photo credit: google images

18 comments:

oreneta said...

well, at least the scene produced results.....there is that anyway.

Sounds like a tough run, hugs. Get together with those boys of yours, they seem to make you laugh like a nut.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Those lemons would have definitely cheered me up. Not because you made an ass of yourself - I just like lemons. Had I been there, I would have picked them up for you. Do you know who Meadowlark Lemon is? (Don't cheat.)

nursemyra said...

You tripped on a mat in the supermarket? Sue the pants off them baby.... that will wipe the smile off their faces ;-)

Sherry said...

Hey, when life gives you lemons (even in a small avalanche) I say make lemonade...but first, fill glass 3/4 full with vodka...and repeat if necessary!!!!

Glad you got the workmen to behave...

Lots to be said for being known as "the crazy lady" -- wear the "tag" with pride!!!

love you! xoxo

Beth said...

oreneta:
My tantrum was also a great stress reliever!

GB:
Meadowlark Lemon – a Harlem Globetrotter star. (I cheated. Of course I did.)
Had you been there to help with the lemons, you would have made me laugh. :)

nursemyra:
No more legal battles!!

Sherry:
There are definitely positives to having such a reputation – I just have to keep it under control…

laughingwolf said...

grats on finding SOME YOUmer to post... got me chuckling, anyway!

on first read i saw 'full basket of melons'...then wondered: where the hell did the 'lemons' come from?

dyslexia... anyone? :P lol

as for the 'workers'... well done, cl!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Not only did I smile, I guffawed heartily. I'm sorry life's been tossing so many lemons your way, but you know what to do with them(i.e., chuck 'em hard at all the b*stards that upset you).
Hang tough.
xoRobyn

Jaya J said...

Good to have you back :) and yes, it made me laugh.

Cipriano said...

You made me smile, Beth.
Glad to see you back in the ol' Books Etc., saddle.
You need to set up a webcam and VIDEO some of your trips and spills.
You are a regular Ms. Bean!

Beth said...

laughingwolf:
Another success – got you chuckling!

robyn:
I could throw snowballs at them today – we finally got a decent snowfall!

Jaya J:
Good to be back. Again… :)

Cip:
Oh, dear lord, when I get as bad as Mr. Bean, just shoot me…

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

OK, like a few other blogs, I thought I had posted a respond to this. Oh boy, who doesn't like a good toe-stub every now and then for a laugh? I know that toes and fingers, when injured are kind of pee-in-your-pants kind of events. I think it's a DNA thang...Yay for you finding humour in the absurd and unusual and double yay for you going gonad to gonad with the construction workers. You are really coming into your own, aren't you?!!! At the moment (me included) life is made up of mess upon mess (don't even get me started on my own crap because I would talk your ear off) and we are treading water. This forum allows me to meet and recognize others who are also treading water and feel a certain kindredness of soul with my life experience. But now I found myself to have petered out, energetically. Did you know that I recently found a burned out lightbulb that had a label of 52 w? I had to laugh - why not 50? or 55? Another mystery of life.

Lainey-Paney said...

Recently said at my house: The lady standing around yelling "I'm not crazy" is probably crazy.
{Yeah, that would be me.}
I'm admittedly a little bit crazy at times.
...and I've found it to be highly effective.

Beth said...

The Bodhi Chicklet:
Treading water, keeping our heads above water…all the metaphors…but we haven’t drowned yet…we’re still buoyant…even if we have to float on our backs every once in a while. Hang in there.

Lainey-Paney:
Embrace your craziness – I have. ;)

Cid said...

Here's to all us "Crazy Ladies" if we stick together we can rule the world or at least make everyone else very, very nervous :-)

Cheryl said...

I love how you confronted them, standing in the mud! Sometimes us "nice girls" have to act crazy and let loose!! It feels good, produces results and you did make me smile.
Here's to many more smiles down the road.

Juliette said...

Well your attempt at humour made me laugh. The coffee spilling (been there) the lemons cascading everywhere and the workmen thinking "there's the crazy lady" all gave me brilliant imagery!

kevin21 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Barrie said...

Actually, I am smiliing. thank you. ;)