Sunday, May 24, 2009
A Big A** Whine
Do I whine very much on my blog? I don’t think I’ve spouted off a real zinger yet but I’m about to - prompted by changing a friggin’ pot light. Or trying to.
And please keep in mind, I am not bemoaning the lack of a man. (Although a resident handyman would be nice.) I am griping about my house (old) and my half-assed repair skills.
I am so very tired of things falling apart in this house – things both large and small. I’m tired of trying to fix them myself with initial enthusiasm for the task but (usually) with only a minimal degree of success. Or none at all. And I’m tired of asking others for help. “Others” includes my sons who do their very best.
I’m tired of adding to the list of repair jobs I’m eventually going to have to hire someone to do.
I’m tired of forking over money (big bucks) for the major repairs that have had to be done these past few years.
So why don’t I just shut up and move? I can’t. I cannot move until legal matters are settled.
And then, when I contemplate that particular moment in time, I do an about-face and think – maybe I won’t move right away, maybe I’ll give myself some breathing space, a time–out before tackling yet another major change in my life. And a move would be a tremendous change. I’ve lived in this house for 22 years.
But if I stay, I’ll still be dealing with a falling apart house. A Catch-22.
When you’re changing a pot light (located in a very high ceiling) and the new light does not work after all your effort and you feel a momentary urge to cry (or smash the damned pot light or faulty receptacle), you know things are not going swimmingly. You know you have reached a low point in your coping abilities.
Do not mistake this post as an invitation to a pity party. I HATE pity. A whine is a momentary get-it-off-your chest kind of thing. When you put it out there – whooshh!!! – you feel a little better. You rebound from a good whine. Pity (particularly self-pity) destroys the soul.
My soul is still kickin’. Maybe a wishful thinking kind of kicking in terms of kicking/smashing a pot light, a gate, a broken door handle, windows that won’t stay open, etc., but nevertheless, still kicking.
Note to self: Get a grip. Knock off the bloody whining and call (yet another) repairman. Or take a course in home repairs. Even if I fail miserably, at least I’ll have met a reputable repairman/woman. I can hire the teacher!
photo credit: www.flickr.com/photos/rbarenblat/1241392269/in/set-72157601679569377/