Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Bathroom Blues

Recent Bathroom Complaints (or Irrelevant Minutiae from Beth’s World)

1. A new tube of toothpaste that is VANILLA flavoured. Yuck.

(Thought I’d bought my usual mint flavoured toothpaste and that it had gone bad.)

2. A new jar (yes, a jar*) of conditioner with the directions: “Generally speaking, use once a week.” Generally speaking?? WTH? What kind of direction is that? I need and want specific instructions – with hair product and recipes.

(*Purchased from my hairdresser because it makes my hair feel soft and silky. Soft and silky goes a long way to compensate for lack of wave and/or curls.)

3. A bottle of Ibuprofen with an expiry date of November 2008.

(Wish I knew how precise these expiry dates are. Is there any leeway? Took a pill. Headache went away – due to an overly conservative expiry date or a placebo effect? Tossed the rest of the bottle.)

4. Water in bathtub not draining at an acceptable rate. While showering, standing in shallow lake. Removed drain stopper to clear drain. Cannot get stopper back in properly (it keeps partially closing) and thus, still standing in shallow lake but not quite as deep.

(Refuse to call repairman for such a minor job. Will try to reinsert drain stopper for the umpteenth time when not so pissed off at myself.)

5. Cleared out cupboards below sink and above laundry hamper approximately two months ago. Both now looking as cluttered and crowded as before.

(Who is buying all this unnecessary junk? For prime suspect, see point # 2.)

6. Vertical strip of wallpaper above mirror coming loose at the seam.

(Easy solution to this nagging problem – stop looking up there. Question – what makes me gaze up there in the first place?)

On a brighter note (and with a nod to Oreneta) the toilet is working just fine.


sherry lee said...

Laughter...a perfect way to start a very cold, snowy kind of day...thanks for the laugh (note to Beth: read labels BEFORE purchasing!!! lol!!!)

Psychgrad said...

Water drainage in my shower is usually my fault...or rather, my hair's fault.

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Moisture and poor ventilation will make the wall paper come off. When I rebuilt my bathrooms I put in super vents that can dry your hair when turned on. No mirror fog in my house.

oreneta said...

Glad to see the toilet theme is continuing so robustly!

Two things,

Take a plunger to the drain next time you are ankle deep and keep it handy. Works a charm.

From a reliable contact in the pharma industry, meds generally get weaker rather than toxic as they age, so they shouldn't do any harm comment if it something like morphine though...I am talking over the counter.

I think I have an idea for a bathroom post! Like this theme...

Generally once a week? Well, generally more if you blowdry, if you live in DRY Toronto winters...

blahblah least it makes your hair feel great.

Barrie said...

Thank you for the giggle. I definitely needed one. If you could see my horrendous to-do list....

BTW, your hair looks great in the London pics. Maybe you only need to use your conditioner once a week? Generally speaking, that is. ;)

All Mod Cons said...

#4 made me laugh! Happens here too, only not because of the "stopper" but because the chicks here seem to shed unnaturally large quantites of hair. But don't unclog it because that's classed as plumbing. Which, apparently, is a blokes job.

Bring back feminism.

Sorry, off on a tangent there...

Anonymous said...

I like your solution for #6

Beth said...

Sherry Lee:
Laughter is also a wonderful thing to share in a (shh - quiet!) bookstore!

I didn't carefully inspect the goop I removed but I'll accept 75% (but only 75%) of the blame.

I would LOVE a vent like that! Seriously. I hate the whole blow-drying routine.

I should check in with you about all my problems/complaints.
A bathroom post on top of your toilet one??!!

Generally (safely) speaking, I think I'll stick to once a week. Don't want to lose any more hair down that damn drain!

A lot of feminism by default around here - although mostly by choice.
"Chicks." ?? Chauvinism or an English figure of speech?

Beth said...

Yeah, that one is so me. Postpone and procrastinate...

Bee said...

Sigh. I wish that the house (and my hair) would maintain themselves without my efforts. I was going to say vigilant efforts, but that would be an exaggeration.

VE said...

Don't feel bad, I found a bottle of Bayer aspirin with a 1972 expiration date in our Cabin...

Anonymous said...

"generally speaking" - well now I kinda like that concept because I'm not one to follow recipes or directions anyway; I'm more of a 'gray-area' kind of person.

But yeah that vanilla toothpaste is just wrong! *gak*

Beth said...

Let's just say we're vigilant in knowing what needs to be done - whether we do it or not is another matter!

Did it work??!!

Wish I was more like you -- even directions that say cook until "al dente"(with no time given) drive me nuts.

Seraphine said...

i've done it a couple of times: i've bought colgate gel instead of paste. the boxes look exactly the same. and i hate the gel.

i opened a box of grapenuts that expired november 2008. so three months ago. it tasted fine.
i think most things like cereals and medicines are ok past their expiration dates. yogurt is usually still good a few days past expiry.
but milk i always toss when it expires.

what scares me is the stuff without expiration dates. i have some opened pepper sauce in the refrigerator that's 3+ years old. so does the pepper kill the bacteria and stay good forever?

Lainey-Paney said...

I would not have tossed the headache medicine.
(that's just me though...)

I recently learned that biscuit dough in a can expires. I had no idea. I associated them with...say, Twinkies that apparently have an ungodly shelf-life.

Shallow pool at your feet while you shower: can't be all bad if it keeps your feet warm. Let your glass be 1/2 full as you look at that situation.

vanilla toothpaste: vomit.

generally speaking directions: well, GENERALLY SPEAKING, how often does one shower in a week? If that direction is targeted at an audience that only showers once a week, perhaps they should have written: hey dirty-a$$, use this every time you shower.

....I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who reads product labels while I'm in the shower/bath. What else am I going to read??

The Bodhi Chicklet said...

Vanilla toothpaste, yetch! I don't even like the smell of vanilla. The last time I tried to fix my toilet I broke it and made it much worse. My sympathies about the headache medicine although it's a good sign that it expired before you needed it.

cipriano said...

For what it's worth... and seriously, I should not even admit such horribilities........ I am trying to find [right now] the proper-ish kind of mutant sort-of paper-clip sort of thing to ram into my shower drain to retrieve all manner of hairy-items trapped therein.
I should not have opened my yapper-hole beyond the phrase "For what it's worth", am I right?