Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Bad Boys - It's a Female Thing

Ask just about any woman and she’ll confess to having had a youthful indiscretion/experience in her past with what is commonly referred to as a bad boy.

Why are we attracted to these types? Not sure. Excitement? Forbidden fruit? And why do we never forget them? I’m not quite sure of the answer to that either. But I’ll bet every woman can rhyme off the name of that guy in a heartbeat.

Being with that bad, inappropriate male is a rite of passage, a learning experience and a temporary thrill.

And, yes, there was a bad boy in my past.

He told me I was a good girl, too nice for him.

(He was right. I was.)

He said we would never date, that I would never be his girlfriend.

(He was right about the girlfriend label. But we went out for pizza together, met and danced at the pub, walked to classes together and gravitated to one another at parties.)

He said there would always be other girls in his life.

(And there were. Many. That was tough.)

In some ways, I think I received the best that bad boy was able to offer. He knew I couldn’t handle a relationship with him and became my protector (whether or not I wanted his unsolicited advice about other males) and he (usually) behaved like a gentleman with me.

The thrill of being with him, of having him a part of my life was worth the frustration, anger and tears. The tears were mine. We both experienced the anger and frustration - had some memorably wicked fights.

Better yet, years later I wrote a fictionalized account of our time together to the tune of $500.00. Not bad.

So, thank you, M. J. (wherever you are) for those good times. And I really don’t want to know if you’re bald, boozy and overweight now.

What prompted this trip down memory lane? I heard Jann Arden’s song “Insensitive” on the radio the other day - the quintessential song for every woman who ever loved a bad boy. It’ll get ya every time.


The Guy Who Writes This said...

If you look hard enough you can find the inner badness in all men.

Sherry said...

Here I was, ready to say "oh you should write this"...and you already did!!!! ;)

I love "Insensitive" -- one of Jann's best songs!!!

And this proves my theory that for every bad boy out there, there is a good girl that he needs to bring the balance into his life at some point. Yin looking for Yang?

Memarie Lane said...

I married a bad boy. :P He's overweight now but not bald or boozy. Yet.

Beth said...

Well, that's a depressing thought.
I gather you're including yourself in this observation.
Another illusion just bit the dust.

This "good girl" just couldn't hang around long enough to bring that Yin to his Yang. Or would it be my Yang to his Yin? (And does this sound rude?)

memarie lane:
Good for you!
(Perhaps I should have married my bad boy. Hindsight is great...)

NYD said...

Bad Girls are just as much fun and just as memorable.

$500 smackeroos? Maybe I ought to sharpen some pencils.

Travis Erwin said...

The Good The Bad and The Ugly. I've always been two of the three but sadly the wrong two.

Patti said...

My bad boy came into my life when I was 19 and NEVER left. My daughter was born on his birthday, and our sons are best friends. He suggested where I should apply for a job, and I got it! He's one of the few people I can call in the middle of the night for help (and I do, and he is always my hero). He still is a very bad boy...into boozing, he's overweight, he cheats on his girlfriend(s). But just like your abd boy, mine would never be my boyfriend. I've been frustrated to tears sometimes, because I love him so much, but I realize how fortunate I am that he never broke my heart like all those other girls.

VE said...

Funny. I had a bad boy phase in my early 20s. I don't think I dated a woman for longer than a week back then. My second round of dating two years ago was pretty crazy too but I wasn't a bad boy then which seemed to make it even harder because there were definitely some bad girls out there in my age group!

Sornie said...

My romantic life would have been much more fruitful if I had begun as a bad boy and evolved into Mr. Sensitive. Sort of maturing as the tastes of women change as they mature.

She said...

I thought they were all bad boys! LOL!

Yep. Been there. Done that. Wept a lot.

Seraphine said...

michael jackson? bad boy indeed.
it never would have occurred to me that you would have dated him. he doesn't seem your type.
maybe you and puff daddy or even justin timberlake.

Beth said...

I love "bad boys"....I can't help it, I just do. I married a "good boy" but secretly lust after the bad ones....!

Beth said...

Kind of wish I'd been one...

Hey, nothing wrong with being both Good and Bad - makes for a fascinating person. ;)

You are fortunate indeed - he gives you all the good he has to give. (That still might break my heart a little, though.)

A week!!! That's not dating - that's getting acquainted in my world. And there's no such thing as bad girls - they're just misunderstood.

Are you saying you evolved the opposite way? From Mr. Sensitive to Mr. Bad? (I read your blog.)

Judging from some of the comments from the males, either they all are or they wish they were.

Wow, you're good! With just those initials... (I'm still laughing.)
But Justin Timberlake? Uh-uh.

Still loving them, huh?
I think the lust factor is a MAJOR component in the bad boy phenomenon.

Eileen said...

I guess I am a prissy, I honestly have never been into bad boys. Sad, huh? I have never been attracted to them at all, I didn't want to deal with all the stuff that comes with them.

That is not to say I haven't met up with some insensitive men. I love that song so very, very much!
It speaks to me.

Mrs. G. said...

Oh yes, we all remember our first BB. Billy W. was mine. Blond curls, motorcycle, played Romeo.

oreneta said...

What is weird for me is that I don't think I had a bad boy....either that or I didn't recognise it, though I doubt that....freaky me.

msb said...

Now that I look back,when I was younger, "they" were all GOOD Boys - NOW as far as I'm concerned "they" are all BAD Boys.

Charlotta-love said...

Before I finished sentence 3 of this post I thought, 'oh, my bad boy was _. _." I wanted things to work out between us so badly but now I realize it was all for the best. He eventually got married and even sent me a wedding invitation. I smiled knowing I wouldn't be the bride. That heartache and those tears were the best things that happened to me. I just didn't know that at the time.

Gary said...

Yeah, I was a nice boy (mostly) and I lost a girl or two to the bad boys. As I got older I found that some girls like good boys too.

What's the equivalent for men? I'm not going to answer that, but I did have a fling with one in Grade 11.

patricia said...

Ah yes...every time I hear 'Insensitive' (LOVE that song – LOVE Jann Arden!) I think of HIM, my bad boy. He wasn't tough or cool, but he certainly was very adept at being insensitive.

I'd sure love to know what he's doing now...and quite frankly, would LOVE IT if he was fat and balding...ain't I insensitive?

Shari/"Whiger" said...

Yeah, been there. I married one. The only tie we have is my oldest daughter now. Would not recommend it, then again, you never know if warnings work because some women rebel or think they can "change" him. They don't.

They all should come with a warning label: I'm the one your mother warned you about.

Barrie said...

Ahh....yes, the bad boy. Seriously, I'd like to know what it is that makes them attractive.

Attila The Mom said...

I looked up my "bad boy" at my 10 year high school reunion.

He was in prison.

No surprise there. But boy was he haht!!!

Princess Pointful said...

Great post!
I think part of the appeal is the fact that we feel special that the bad boy pays so much attention to us. Good boys are easy to get attention from.

PrincessB said...

Love that song!

cipriano said...

I'm still looking for one of those "Everyone Loves a Bad Girl" shirt.
Why can I not find this at Wal-Mart?