Monday, June 23, 2008

(My) Life at the Cottage


This sign was put up years ago to scare the living bejesus out of me – and it worked. (My fear of bears is family legend.)

Following completion of some work done on the cottage property, an official inspection was required. After the inspection (but prior to my arrival) family members erected the sign in order to have a great laugh at my expense. Pure evil genius.

I caught a glimpse of it while walking over to my sister’s cottage and froze - in fear and dread. “Oh, dear God – local officials spotted bears here. That’s it. I’m doomed. I’ll never feel safe at the cottage again.”

Okay, so I’m gullible. But doesn’t that sign look official to you?

And there are bears up there. For instance - at the local garbage dump. Not a favourite hang-out of mine. One was also spotted at the end of the lake – and it’s a small lake.

As for those numbers 2 and 3? That is an official sign and its purpose is to note the location of cottages 2 and 3. Yes, we’re quite capable of counting and we do know which cottage belongs to whom. The sign is to aid local emergency services – if ever required.

Which reminds me of another fear I have at the cottage. Fire.

How do I ever manage to enjoy myself up there?


(Just so you know, I got a wicked black fly bite on the back of my neck while taking that picture. It feels like the size of a golf ball. Gosh, the risks I take to come up with a blog post…)

19 comments:

Trish said...

The tortures we go through to enjoy ourselves!

There was always a threat of black bears around the marina near our cottage but they didn't scare me as much as wasps...

OMG

One summer when I was a teenager we had a scourge of ground wasps whose nests dotted the underbrush like land mines. Our dogs were always stirring them up into swarming frenzies so no one was safe!

I've been terrified of wasps ever since. I'm breaking out into a sweat just thinking about it.

. . . still didn't keep me from going up there though; I loved that place *sigh*

patricia said...

You're family is a hoot! Hope you're having fun.

Look out for the black flies! I bet they're deadlier than the bears!

oreneta said...

OK, mean, but very very funny....sorry about the black fly bite.

Sherry/Cherie said...

You are a very dedicated blogger!! To risk life and limb to take photographs -- I'm impressed!!

Bears are making their way into the urban jungle as well...there was a sighting in Pickering a few weeks ago -- and it was caught.

La La said...

LOL! I cracked up! I love a good, practical joke! Sorry it was at your expense!

I hope you are having an awesome time.

I don't know what a black fly is! (I don't think. Is it just a big, black regular fly?)

Beth said...

trish:
It was always a gang of boys (my own and my nephews) who disturbed wasp nests and then ran like hell - to their mothers.
And, yes, despite all my fears, I love it up there.

patricia:
There were certainly more black fly sightings than bear sightings this weekend BUT every rustle in the woods could have been a bear!

oreneta:
It was funny - I still laugh when I see the sign.
(And I have more than one black fly bite...)

sherry:
Yes, that's me - Nature Girl. (ha!)
Pickering is way too close...

la la:
Black flies are very, very tiny and make no noise (thus, no early warning signal). And their bites not only itch, they hurt. Fortunately, they're seasonal.
(I'm home now!)

Diesel said...

Just make sure you have somebody with you at all times who can't run as fast as you. Problem solved.

Shari said...

Such scare tactics. I wonder how long it takes for them to come up with these things? I haven't met a bear I didn't like. Translation: Never saw one LIVE yet.

You're home safe now. Hope that black fly bite goes away soon. Horse fly bites hurt the worse, I think. Are black flies like the size of fruit flies? Sometimes I get bit by "no see-ums." I can't see them so they must be very small or they are fast fliers. One downside to summer. The bugs. Sigh.

LOL. What Diesel said.

Dorky Dad said...

I hate bears, too. They give me the creeps. Don't know why -- oh, wait: it's that story I read about the two black bears eating ... um, wait. Maybe I shouldn't repeat that story to someone legendary for her bear-o-phobia.

VE said...

But what about Gentle Ben? He was such a lovable bear? What about Winnie the Pooh? Smokey? They are getting a bum rap here...

Beth said...

diesel:
Brilliant - although the older you get, the more difficult that is to do.

shari:
I think black flies are like no-see-ums. (Great word.)
Bear cubs ("live") are cute and likable - you just have to watch out for Mama bear!

dorky dad:
You should have continued. I have a sick fascination for bear horror stories - they justify the phobia.

ve:
Winnie is exempt. So are Yogi and Boo-boo. All others are included. (I would never go near Gentle Ben.)

Sornie said...

Hopefully the bite isn't a foreshadowing of the development of the West Nile VIrus or Malaria. But honestly, bears are more afraid of us. Unless you are wearing a suit of raw meat. You aren't, are you?

Charlotta-love said...

Last week at camp I heard something in the woods. My friend and I turned on the flashlight to see a deer. We both were scared. If that was a deer, I don't even want to think about bears!

Shellmo said...

The sign would have me fooled - I have a fear of bears as well. That and snakes!

Lainey-Paney said...

yes, the sign looks very official, and I'd be scared too!

Lynda said...

We have a lot of scary stuff in Australia to contend with...but not bears (Koala's don't count)
Love the idea of an escape cottage....

Eileen said...

That is so funny! I am scared to death of bears too. When we go hiking in the mountains I actually brought mace. Only to be told it didn't work on bears, only made them more upset. Camping, I am a nervous wreck. I just keep picturing a bear claw coming through the tent. I won't even talk about Yellowstone, I'll just say my family has a lot to laugh about. Did you ever see that DVD Grizzly, where the guy actually would go live with the bears. Got his girlfriend to go too. Not a good ending.

Enough about bears. I am glad you had a good time. Sorry about the black fly bite. I always get stung by jelly fish (not the red ones) at our cabin on the Chesapeake Bay. I hate it!!!

Glad your back, safe and sound.

Gary said...

Just think of Yogi and Boo Boo! Bears are fine if you give them notice of your arrival. We've had several in the yard already and the fruit isn't even edible yet. I talk to them.

Princess Pointful said...

I think the funniest thing is how the fears we have clash with what we get used to. The city folk fear the bears, the rural folk fear the crime... etc.