Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Crystal Ball Follow-Up

My visit to the psychic? A bust. Fun, but nevertheless, a bust.

When relating the experience to your son and all you can come up with in terms of a fascinating detail (how could she possibly know this!!??) is, “She said she saw a fish tank in our house,” you realize it didn’t go very well.

His response? (Accompanied by an incredulous look.) “Mom, you paid someone to hear that?? I don’t need a psychic to tell me I have a fish tank – I know I have an ‘effin fish tank.”

Right. Reality check. Burst bubble. But lots of laughter as my friend and I realized we’d been trying to convince ourselves we’d heard great stuff. Hmm. Great? How great is this? She said I should start dating - SOON. What’s the rush? Am I about to start decomposing in a few months? I’ll start dating when I bloody well feel like it.

As much as I really wanted this to work out, I had a premonition (ha!) that it might not pan out as I’d hoped when she served blueberry tea. It tasted yucky. And I had to drink it because she was reading the tea leaves. Some of those tea leaves were floating on top. If I accidentally sipped one with the tea, I very carefully (and discreetly) spit it back into the cup, wary of screwing up the reading. I AM A NUTCASE! And yet, she never came up with a “sense” of that.

On the plus side, she predicted a career change for my friend. Based on our analysis of this particular psychic’s ability (and the money she must make from dimwits like ourselves) my friend decided she too could become a psychic. Added bonus. She will side-line as a pimp – just for me. (You know, ‘cause I have to dive into that dating pool – pronto.) To any lovelorn but decent looking male clients, she’s going to say, “I see a beautiful, mature woman in your future. And by the way, here’s her address and phone number.”

(We share a whacko sense of humour.)

So, no great hints or predictions for my future. Looks like it’s all up to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be…

Or maybe I should try another psychic?


Eileen said...

I would try another psychic. Then you will have something to compare it to. She sounds pretty off, blueberry tea??? Yuck.

I am impressed you went. Christie went once and when I heard the tape (she gave it to her free) some of the things were pretty wild and so close. However, she went on to say Christie had "the gift and that she can communicate with her mother." She seemed so flustered by it, really seemed convinced she found something in Christie. Wanted me to encourage it. Now how would I do that?

Anyway, I think it sounded like a good experience, even if it was just for fun. I hope it didn't cost too much!

Mrs. G. said...

I'm pretty sure it was the spit that screwed up the reading.

Princess Pointful said...

I agree with your son... often I wonder what exactly is the point to hear what you already know?? Unless it results in needed self-reflection, I suppose...

oreneta said...

Well you got a darned funny post out of it, and a hilarious comment out of your son.

What the heck. Maybe that new career plan will work out for you.

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Beth, you are sensitive and creative and you love animals. How's that for a reading, and we've never met.

Beth said...

The best part of the whole experience was the laughter we experienced later. Can't put a price on that!

mrs. g.:
Excellent point. I was probably supposed to swallow those tea leaves.

princess pointful:
It was all a bit of wishful thinking but has resulted in some self-reflection - so not a total bust.

A sobering moment upon hearing my son's reaction, as well as a hilarious one. At least I know I can laugh at myself - both now and in the future.

I love and appreciate your "psychic" powers. (And I will never ask you about my future.)

Psychgrad said...

I've been to a couple of psychics before and never felt that they were very good either. I think I still have the tapes of the sessions somewhere...I should go back and listen to them to see if anything came true. It has been at least 10 years.

My aunt had a sibling go missing (still missing 30 years later - no trace). She spoke to Sylvia Brown (you know the one who is on Montel Williams). Sylvia charged something like $500 for a 30 minute phone call (yikes!)

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'll stick to my daily horoscope and plan accordingly.

Shari said...

You did try, that's the main thing. It's entertainment, fun/scarey.

Fish tank? Would I be told that I am deaf or that I have two kids?

I've often wondered about psychics who "predict" lottery numbers for others. If they were "psychic" wouldn't all the psychics be lottery winners? Why share the numbers?

Seriously, though, I think some do have this gift.

B said...

I am still recovering from my son's tongue lashing that I accompanied you. His concern was that I would actually believe what was said. i.e. "Your son is near a body of water". He felt that was a safe bet. Not many Toronto folks gravitate to a desert. He went on to remind me that next I would be following daily horoscopes and did I actually believe that all people in the world born on a certain day could really have the same kind of day. Why are men so "practical" about the wrong stuff? I still say it was a diversion and entertainment even if she did tell me about YOUR leaking roof.

I say next we try out for Canadian Idol. You know how well I sing. That would be a side-splitting day for you at least! And, one day we know they'll have a Canadian Guitar Hero competition and you will rock out.

Rave on!

Beth said...

Well, thank God I didn't pay $500.00 to hear I have a fish tank here!
(We actually have three.)

My daily horoscope is about as accurate as the fortune in the Chinese fortune cookies I end up with.

It certainly was fun but not a bit scary. And I do still believe some people have a gift. Perhaps not this particular lady...

I am sitting here cracking up - AGAIN. I forgot about that "body of water" thing. (B's and B's eyes opened wide in amazement upon hearing the psychic say...)
Our sons' reactions provided an added bonus - laughing at ourselves.
Oh, wait...I'm sensing yet another adventure in our future...another kind of contest...requires hand/eye co-ordination...it's on the tip of my tongue...
I'll get back to you on that!

Mom of Three said...

Beth, self-reliance, it's a bitch! It's a bitter pill to swallow, at first, when I realized that I was literally on my own. Nobody could tell my future by the wrinkles in my palm, the way the tarot cards fell, or how the tea leaves sunk to the bottom of my cup. I also don't think there's anyone in the sky guiding, protecting or helping anyone, which made it all the more grim--at first. Now, it's kind of reassuring. I can look at what I need to do, take the best course. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes not. Some of the wrong turns I've taken have ended up being the most joyful mistakes of my life.

I wish there were such a thing as a working crystal ball or Ouija board, but they're just in fun.

Beth said...

I really knew all along (in my heart of hearts) that my future is what I make of it. On the plus side, at this stage in my life I have a great crowd cheering me on.

Sherry/Cherie said...

OMG -- you put back the leaves that went into your mouth -- in case you swallowed a vital piece of "evidence" that predicts your future!! I can soooo see you doing that and can I tell you -- I think I'd have done the same thing.

What a lark -- but it wss fun, it was different and I'm wondering how she knew you had a fish tank (and what relevance it had to anything!)...did you have a speck of fish food on your shirt?!?

(and tell me that your pant legs were both in the rolled down and locked position!!! lol!!!)

Lainey-Paney said...

...but, all in fun, right????

Memarie Lane said...

I've been to several psychics and I've noticed a pattern. Those that charge money are wrong. Those that offer their services freely are right.

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