Monday, March 10, 2008
Of Interest to Sports Fans Only
Anyone familiar with my passions in life may have noticed a dearth of posts regarding my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs. That’s because they are tanking. Or, have tanked. A playoff spot is but a fantasy.
Toronto is a brutal hockey town. Fans turn on a dime. The vultures and jokesters have been circling for quite a while as the Leafs have been sinking into the abyss.
A friend sent me a “death throes” e-mail. Just to show what a good sport I am, I thought I’d share some (not all) of the amusing bits.
Well, they’re supposed to be amusing.
I’m not laughing. I am very, very sad.
1. The Leafs MUST PROMISE to remember that when the referee drops the puck, this signals the beginning of play. This is to ensure that no more time will be wasted while the Leafs try to figure out what just happened.
2. “Timbits” players will be considered legitimate substitutes.
(Actually, the Leafs have been playing well lately. But, alas, too little, too late…)
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs have that the Montreal Canadiens don’t?
Black and white photographs of their last Stanley Cup.
(Last Cup - 1967.)
What do the Leafs and The Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
What's the difference between the Leafs and a cigarette machine?
The cigarette machine has PLAYERS.
“Golf, Leafs, Golf.”
(This is positively cruel.)
Sorry, my boys in blue and white. A winning streak for every last damn game of the season is beyond even my optimistic outlook - and probably wouldn’t make a difference anyway.
Here’s to next year! A new season! A brand new beginning!
(And, Cip, if you read this and choose to leave a comment – be kind. The Senators are struggling and I would NEVER make a crack about them!)