Tuesday, February 12, 2008

More (Dirty) Pool Talk

I LOVE MY HYDROTHERAPY CLASS! Not only for the health and fitness benefits but for the great laughs.

In a previous post I related a tale of our class exercising with balls.

We recently used “noodles” in the pool. Our lovely sweet female instructor (whose British accent I adore) noted that THE ONE MALE in the class that day was struggling to stay afloat.

“Are you alright, Jerry?” she inquired. (Name changed to protect the innocent.)

“Not really,” Jerry replied. “I think I have a soggy noodle.”

Smiles and smirks from the female contingent. We will pounce on any opportunity to behave like silly twits. To our credit, we refrained from outright laughter. Poor guy – how did he end up the only one in the class with a soggy noodle??? (Ha!)

Instructor: “Not to worry - we can always provide firm noodles in this class.”


Well, that did it. Our amusement became audible – although still somewhat restrained. The instructor was oblivious. Jerry was catching on….

The instructor continued. “No one should have to work with a water-logged noodle. And if anyone has a kink in their noodle, let me know.”

All efforts at maintaining a (minimal) level of maturity – shot to hell. Out loud laughter ensued as we all checked for kinky noodles…

At this point, Jerry was crimson with embarrassment. Our instructor finally (sort of) caught on and was blushing.

Balls and noodles, people – they make for some damn fine exercise classes!

(And, yes, Jerry ended up with a brand new noodle. Lucky guy.)


Sherry said...

ROFL!!! OMG..I needed that laugh today Beth -- I'm frozen, it's snowing again -- guys and soggy noodles -- I'm telling you, he'll never float!!! Glad you were able to help him raise the flag!!! LOL!!! Sounds like a great class!

Beth said...

just think how many men out there would LOVE a Brand New Noodle!!!

Oh to be in that class with you....!!

Gary said...

That's rich!

I think Jerry could also have solved the problem by having two noodles or getting a bigger noodle or simply sitting poolside imagining a bigger noodle. Whoops ... I'm getting carried away like you woman in the pool now...

oreneta said...

LMAO and so easy to install!!

Beth said...

The instructor helped him - not me!!!
And thus, Jerry floated once again...
And it is a great class - no waddling like a duck afterward (like some people we know).

I would love it if you were with me - we'd laugh so hard we'd pee our - oops, wait a minute - not in a pool!

I don't ever want to see "Jerry" sitting poolside using his imagination...
Easy to get carried away with a scenario like this, isn't it?

Not if there's a kink!

Princess Pointful said...

Soggy noodles don't sound the slightest bit appealing--- pool instrument, pasta, or otherwise!

Sorry I've been commenting MIA-- just got back!

Mrs. G. said...

I'm glad to know that I am not the only one who, occasionally, has a third grade sense of humor. I still find it difficult now to snicker when someone says Uranus. I'm not proud.

I'm glad Jerry has a sense of humor...goodness knows he's brave.

Anonymous said...

That is so funny! I remember the trouble with the balls, and now the soggy noodle...poor guy. He must be a pretty good sport to stick with this class! Sounds like so much fun. Getting fit and laughing your asses off. Can't beat that!

Lynda said...

I love a good naughty school girl laugh! Sounds like a blast. Poor Jerry... as I was reading I kept seeing George Costanza out of Seinfeld... and a noodle.

All Mod Cons said...

I just couldn't think of anything else...large volume of water + noodles + bunch of women = Chick(en) Noodle Soup!

Barrie said...

Ha! On a serious note, I hate having those noodles in my pool. They shed.

Beth said...

princess pointful:
Agreed. They should all be al dente!

mrs. g.:
A grade three (two? one?) sense of humour is a wonderful thing to possess!

I can't see another funny story coming - there aren't any more "toys" we use in class. But who knows?

Yeah, poor "Jerry" had a Seinfeld moment. Amazing how we can twist and interpret language.

Good one! To add to your theme - the water is hot!

Noodles aren't meant to last!
(It is yucky seeing those little bits float past you.)

patricia said...

Poor Jerry!

Poor noodle!

Hilarious story! (I can't believe that it took Jerry and the instructor so long to 'catch on'. I would have been in fits of giggles right away. But then, I have a somewhat filthy mind, as you may recall...)

And can you BELIEVE this freakin' SNOW???? I can't wrap my noodle around it.

Beth said...

Some people (i.e. Jerry and the instructor) do not possess the "filthy" minds we do. (Poor souls.)
As for the snow - apparently we may surpass a record amount that fell back in 1950. I am not impressed. I have a wall of snow just beyond the front steps that is up to my shoulders. There's nowhere to put the damn stuff!

Sherry said...

Oh I see Beth, you didn't "help", you just like to watch!!! LOL!!!

My waddling days are done my friend...I can "squat" with the best of 'em!! But a hydrotherapy class sounds wonderful...NOW if Jerry's "noodle" gets any bigger, betcha he's going to be waddling!!

La La said...

I laughed out loud from my desk. Now everyone thinks I'm nuts.

Thanks for a good laugh!

Beth said...

Yeah, I admit it - I'm just a voyeur!

la la:
You read blogs at work?! Horrors!
(Glad I made you laugh...)

Shari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shari said...

Oh, I had tears gushing out of my eyes from laughing so hard.

Any blue balls in the swimming pool?

New noodles-the new improved penile prosthesis.

Poor guy. Good thing he didn't say "limp noodle" instead of "soggy noodle". That would have cinched it.

I'm surprised he didn't switch classes or something.

Well, you gotta make sure the diving board's stiff yet flexible...

Beth said...

I'm delighted that my naughty post brings out the naughtiness in others!
Good to know it made you laugh.

Dorky Dad said...

Tsk, tsk. Making fun of a man's limp noodle. I am shocked -- SHOCKED, I tell you!

I think it's funny that the instructor didn't really catch on, even while talking about firm noodles.

Lainey-Paney said...

...when the hell can I sign up for this exercise class???