Thursday, October 25, 2007
Regular scheduled programming of BooksEtc. has been interrupted due to the fact Beth is brain dead. (Five hours of sleep a night have begun to take their toll.)
Instead, we bring you Liz – Beth’s alter ego. Nasty Liz emerges when nice Beth has had it.
Liz has some complaining to do. She is easily pissed off. You don’t want to mess with her.
Liz: “Thanks, Beth. Go take a nap.”
Liz’s List of Minor Irritants
People who bring their dogs in stores. I don’t care how cute, fluffy or small your dog is, I don’t want to see it while I’m shopping. Or hear it. And I don’t want it sniffing me – anywhere.
Drivers who consider four-way stops an opportunity to play chicken.
Service, repair and delivery people who promise to come to your home anywhere between 9:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. This grants them a lot of leeway while putting me under temporary house arrest.
Items that come packaged in tiny bits of Styrofoam which stick to my fingers and every other surface as I try to dispose of them. I prefer bubble-wrap. You can have some fun with that stuff.
People who play mind games with your head. Life is too short to indulge in such pettiness. It takes two to play. I’m not joining those games.
The fact that you can buy a plain white T-shirt in the men’s department for half the price of one in women’s apparel. A tiny pink ribbon attached at the neckline doubles the price.
Disgruntled customers who turn to the next person in line (me) and loudly voice their dissatisfaction. If you want to complain, have the guts to confront the salesperson. I’m an innocent bystander and don’t care to engage in a complaint-fest. I am not your new best friend.
Voice messages that say, “I am either out of the office, away from my desk or on the phone right now. Please leave a message. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
Define “soon.” Why don’t you call me back? Where are you? Really?
Short list, huh?
Well, Beth insisted that I not get into politics or world affairs. She thinks they’re not my forté - that I might offend. She is such a wimp…