Monday, August 27, 2007


Things are not so great.

I’m feeling kind of sucker punched.

(Or maybe I should use a football metaphor? I feel like the victim of an end run?)

I discovered that plans for Christmas have been made.

Without my knowledge.

Without my input.

It is August, people. It is only the month August.

I vowed I would not vent on this blog about my marital separation and have only ever provided the vaguest of details. I will continue to be vague. I will continue to keep this blog mine – a place where I can be the person I want to be.

However, every once in a while I am blindsided by an event that just about renders me speechless – among other things. When this happens, it’s difficult for me to be upbeat and cheery on my blog. (Hell, never mind on my blog – in my life.)

And it happens far more often than you will ever know.

I’m not sure why, but I’m sharing today. (Still, with only the vaguest of details.)


I’m going to share something else today – a song I love. It’s one of those songs whose lyrics may not really pertain to your life but, for some reason, you relate to it in a personal way.

Color Blind by Counting Crows.

(Click on the song title for the link if you’d like to hear it. I have yet to figure out how to put a YouTube video on my blog.)

The song may strike you as sad.

I happen to like the line “I am fine.”


Princess Pointful said...

Eep. No wonder you are blindsighted. Although I know not the details, it seems like such things would have to be at least a little deliberate (it being August and all), and, thus, a little malicious.

No guilt about venting, though. We certainly don't mind in the slightest. Reminds me that you are human like the rest of us (you seem a little superhuman at times, my dear!)

oreneta said...

Vent on, when you want. Christmas plans. That's pretty crap. It was bound to be a tricky one, and just going around you like that seems callus and cowardly.


Shari said...

It's okay to vent. We all vent once in a while. Christmas, already? Christmas is not even in the stores...yet.

Hint: To get a YouTube video on your blog, look at the right-hand side where it says "embed", copy that HTML code, paste it to the HTML page of your blog body where you write "behind the scenes". Let me know if that works. That's how I do it. :)

Meanwhile, think positive and keep your chin up. What goes around, comes around.

Shari said...

Oh, by the way, stop by my blog. A surprise for you.

Blogarita said...

Then again, you could be in my family and be notified, just days before the holiday, that everyone's coming to your house.

I resent having my holiday planned for me, but at least when it's August you have time to figure out a way out.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you tell me that venting is what we are here for. Well that is what we are here for, the good days and the bad. God knows you have listened to me enough times, I hope you know I am here, I care too. Christmas plans being made behind your back or being underminded is just plain wrong and very hurtful(not to mention just plain rageful). I think (without knowing details) that it sounds like game playing and someone just being controlling and mean. I am sorry that it happened and that it is disrupting your tranquility. I have faith in you, I know you WILL BE FINE. XOXO

Dorky Dad said...

Vent all you want. It's why we're here.

I have to agree with Oreneta. Making plans for the holiday without consulting you seems rather wussy. Wussish?

JR's Thumbprints said...

I hate to mention this, but I actually saw a retailer placing X-mas merchandise on a shelf. Perhaps this is how the holiday planning gets started. As for You Tube, copy and paste their code into your HTML and you'll have video, although, Blogger has some new fangled way of doing it.

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Just think of all the guilt trips you can lay on them between now and then.

Anonymous said...

Christmas plans in August? I can't even figure out dinner plans for next weekend.

So sorry this is happening to you like this. Horrible, just horrible.

Pavel said...

I'm visiting again.
So sorry about what's going on; I'm in the middle of a divorce after a slow pain marital breakdown so I can imagine how that feels.
Vent on, it does help and from what I see, you have a lot of blogger friends who care.

Lainey-Paney said...

okay....the christmas plans have been made by who? and to include who?
I assume the ex made christmas plans with the kids to exclude you??? no???

Diesel said...

Well, it's your own fault for waiting till the last minute. What are your plans for Memorial Day?

Beth said...

princess pointful:
Malicious? I don't think so. But very inconsiderate and definitely most unthoughtful for not informing me.
Me? "Superhuman?" Oh, I can be quite human - very much so...

"Pretty crap." A good summing up.

Oh, my chin is definitely UP.

Thanks for both the YouTube advice and the award!

Wow, so nice to hear from you! Are you back blogging? I'm going to check.

It is disrupting and hurtful and I will get over it - and deal with it.
Thanks for your faith and support.

dorky dad:
"Wussish?" That's a cool new word. I'm tucking it away for future (possible) use.

Thanks for the YouTube info. It all sounds so easy to do until I try it.

I could. I probably won't.
(That's just the way I am...)

A somewhat dismissive move, for sure. It hurts.

Thanks for your support - and so sorry to hear about your situation. Best of luck to you.

Gotta stay "vague" re: the details - which I know must be frustrating for those who read my blog.
(but you're pretty close...)

Beth said...

Yeah, I am such a slacker!
(you made me smile)

Anonymous said...

Go ahead and vent, I wouldn't mind. In my opinion a blog doesn't have to be happy and cheery all the time and it does help to finally get things off your chest.

All Mod Cons said...

Screw xmas, it's arse anyway. Although I sympathise with the pooey way that it's been organised without your knowledge or even without your input.

Small suggestion. EVERYONE knows that New Year is the better deal. Less rubbish to throw out (wrapping paper), less cooking to be done, more beers to be drunk, unacceptable behaviour is acceptable, no crappy decorations to put up, dressing up to be done, loud music to be played until unearthly hours...and SO many more things. Therefore, I reckon you should arrange a cha cha ching New Years...without doing any "consulting" of your own.

Petty? Maybe. Satisfying? Definitely!

patricia said...

Nuts. That just sucks. I'm really sorry to hear about this latest blindside. Christmas is such a special time for most people and their families, so yes, it is very hurtful to not be included or informed of plans. Perhaps there is time to negotiate? Does seem odd to be thinking about Christmas in August...

And never apologize for vening. Hyper-ventilate all you want, honey!

Rebecca said...

I can't imagine what you're going through. But if my family wasn't around on Christmas, I'd book a trip and get the hell out of dodge.

Beth said...

coffee mom:
It did help - a bit.

all mod cons:
Wonderful idea - unless you're talking about New Year's Eve.
I'm "kids" won't be hangin' around here on that evening.
But you're right - a far easier "do" to arrange.

Negotiate? Maybe. Not feeling so inclined to do that right now. (Perhaps before?)

Never mind Xmas - there are times now I want to get the hell out of dodge!

Dan said...

A lot can happen between now and December. Maybe things will change for the better?

Hang in there OK? I know that sounds trite. Probably because it is. :)

Blog about anything you want. I think you're great and love your writing. Hugs.

Beth said...

Between now and Christmas changes will be made. By me.
"Hang in there" - not trite at all. I'm perfecting the art of doing so!


Attila The Mom said...

Just a piece of work....that's all I can say here. grrr

Beth said...

That's all I'm saying here...

Angela said...

Hi Beth,

I stumbled on your blog today and love it. I hate being blindsided. That sucks. I hear the Bahamas at Christmas is really nice. :)

I look forward to reading more. Is it okay if I blogroll you?

~ Angela

Beth said...

The Bahamas? Hmm...sounds like a plan.
Thanks for visiting and, yes, feel free to blogroll me.
(That sounds a little weird...)