Sunday, January 14, 2007

I'm Back...

The so-called “normal” Beth is back — the semi-amusing, thought-provoking, scintillating raconteur. (I wish.)

Yes, indeed I’m back in the land of the living. Had my weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth moment (okay, moments) yesterday and survived to tell the tale. (Man, I had a damned good cry — way past due.)

These past few weeks (months, actually) have proven to me that everyone (or, at least me) possesses a bit of a split personality with a wee bit of manic-depression thrown in for good measure. If we’re capable of doing so, we reveal a certain face to the world and (usually) keep the bad stuff hidden. Or, you could say we behave in a civilized manner, “properly,” keep a stiff upper lip or — worse yet — put on a happy face. ☺ (I really hate that little face.) Our society sure as hell has a lot of expressions to encourage us to keep the sloppy, unseemly emotions in check. Not so sure this is always a good thing to do.

Anyway, after catching up on some much-needed sleep, I’m ready to face the world again. If nothing else, I’m resilient. And I’ve also learned that it’s the little things that can bring you back and keep you going. A big thanks to my husband and two other kids for being there for me even while coping with their own sadness. (‘Cause it’s all about me, right? It kind of felt like that yesterday although I know this isn’t true at all.)

Speaking of the little things that keep you going, my eldest made it to his destination safely and has called home. (Ah, the ties that bind!) He’s already been “chewed out” twice by superior officers. That’s my boy! I guess this is normal operating procedure to whip them all into shape.

In my heart of hearts, I’m hoping this son of mine — who has always marched to the beat of his own drummer — will chafe at the bit and decide, “I don’t want no more of army life…” (Remember that song?)

Sigh. I don’t think that will happen.

Totally off topic — it’s finally snowing here in Toronto. I’m actually glad to see snow. I’ve missed it. But, it can stop after about another inch. At my age, I just like the look of it, not the work it demands.


Nomad said...

Hey Beth, guess I just caught you posting !!


I am glad you are feeling better...nothing like a good wail to make us feel ridiculous after a while and then inevitably better.
Tomorrow is another day...

(Blogging before breakfast...gee sounds a bit like me...yikes!!)

Beth said...

nomad - Boo! right back at ya! (I did have my coffee first...)
And, yeah, I felt like a goof during the wail but tons better afterward.

Anonymous said...

It's all about balance. We all have a little bit of "disorder" to our selves and I think you do the right thing by aknowledging that. It's the people who keep a stiff upper lip and never even consider that they might need to vent/cry that I worry about.

Too bad that society considers a show of emotion a weakness...I think it is the other way around.

The snow sure is pretty isn't it? But it looks like it's turning into we need more of that!

The Guy Who Writes This said...

As for your snow, the cold you are feeling has us here in Oregon as well. This is the 4th day we've had snow on the ground here. Might be a record.

oreneta said...

So he finally got the packing done, huh.

I am not going to tell the kids about the must be so beautiful. Can you post a pic?

Glad your feeling a little better.

Beth said...

trish - I don't know how those "stiff upper lip" folks do it. I have never kept something inside for as long as I did this. Does a real number on your health.

guy - It is still snowing - beyond my requested limit. 10-15 cm are predicted...that's 4"- 6" (Sounds worse in cm., doesn't it?)

oreneta - He was still packing the morning he left. (Ouch.)
Just asked my husband to take a picture of the snow - there's not much yet. I'll post it when he does - just for you.

Beth said...'ll be okay Beth. I know it's hard to let him go, but he'll be back and he'll be a man...we'll keep him and you in our prayers all the time.

Beth said...

beth - Prayers from so many people like yourself will keep me going - and hopefully, keep him safe.

Attila The Mom said...

Glad to hear that the kid got there ok.

Hope you're feeling better too. A good wail and gnashing of teeth once in awhile is good for the soul!

Beth said...

attila - Yeah, that was a long-delayed doozy of a wail - and it felt good to let it out.